generating HEAT (a journey back to myself)

getting out of Dodge

2012-02-12T13:30:00.000-08:00

I spent a week trying to figure out if I was going to make it through finding the right blood pressure medicine and going through countless tests to be told I had to do three things; reduce stress, exercise more and eat less. I was also told that during my stress test I was only expected to be on the tread mill for 6 minutes or so, but 25 min later the thing was cranking out full speed and full tilt and my HR was still only at 90%, apparently it takes longer for those who exercise regularly, even longer for those who run on treadmills, and way longer for those who are active outdoors. I apparently caught them profiling, which will tickle my doctor as he understands my frustration to some extent. Someone I know told me that "the financial markets are closed on the weekend so whatever happens with my money will have to wait until Monday". What he was trying to say about my latest bout of work related stress was that "school is closed on the weekends all problems will have to wait until Monday or even school is out around 3PM so all related problems will have to wait until 7AM". I am trying to learn this way of thinking.

I got out of Dodge this weekend. I decided to go to Lake Placid to visit some friends despite not feeling 100%. The reasons? I needed to exercise and the atmosphere in that town is conducive to it. I needed to relax which I always seem to be able to do up there. I needed to laugh and I knew that a combination of Jen keeping me on my toes and the Ottawa Pacers in town, there would be plenty of that. I also needed to be inspired and Kevin Frost was racing.

I am not home yet. Tomorrow I head to Dana Farber with my mom. I won't speculate about that. It is just a fact. I will think of it as an adventure in its own right. Maybe we will see or hear something exciting along the way?

More later!

The people you meet

2012-02-07T12:21:00.000-08:00

I spent last night in Danbury hospital. Some would blame it on the Superbowl excitement or even being a closet (ahmmm) Pats fan. Most of you don't know me well, but I have been a Redskins fan for forever and despite not really following the game, or caring about who wins, when push comes to shove its either DC or NY. Really? To think some silly pigskin is going to rattle my cage? HA, you missed something that was very elementary, there was no ICE involved, not any bicycle, nor any running shoe, or even some adventurous feat of athleticism. Don't get me wrong football is a very strenuous sport, but its played that way every day of the week, just like any of the above, it just doesn't rival a scramble up K2. In any case, my hospital visit in a nutshell: I went to bed on Sunday night with a headache. I woke Monday morning at 4 AM with a headache and numbness in my left arm, shoulder and back. I took some aspirin and went back to bed. An hour later I woke up with an even bigger headache and even more pressure so I went to the hospital. I had what they call hypertensive urgency. What an ordeal! I guess there is more to that middle age crap than I gave my mother credit for (ha).

In some ways I almost think I should write about the cast of characters I met. There was the PA who was so serious we thought his face would crack BUT he shot me up with morphine the minute I got there, then wanted to give me every other pain killer under the sun. Then there was the PA who kept telling me I had to change my lifestyle the cardiologist who I thought was going to give me the same line but almost broke into tears because he felt my pain, working hard at eating right and exercising and being jealous of those who do nothing and sail through life without these problems. He was Russian, wore these really cool shoes, and made me want to ask him to be my training buddy! Of course, there has to be one, there was the nurses assistant who had no sensitivity. How much do you weigh? I tell her, she corrects me. As she is taking my blood pressure she asks "you have high blood pressure?" I answer yes. She says how high? and then snarks something at me as she walks away. Little did I know that there was a friggen scale on the bed.

Ok so I am home, now what? Nothing more than I was doing already, low sodium, low caffeine, exercise, loose weight… HELLO, sorry sometimes I feel like I am at the bottom of this hole yelling up CAN YOU HEAR ME? Then I secretly think that the doctors who tell me to do the above should be challenged to spending a week with me! Matter of fact they should pay me for food too as we don't eat food that has been processed, nor do I add salt. As for the exercise piece? I wonder if they could handle it?

For now, every morsel, every step into my log book…Join me

It was SCARY HIGH

2012-02-04T15:01:00.000-08:00

Did you ever stop and wonder if someone has been trying to ell you something for a while? My dad's family has high blood pressure, weight and lifestyle don't seem to matter when it comes to this hereditary fact of life. I seem to have inherited it by the time I was 38, despite being at a healthy weight and having an overly healthy lifestyle. I have managed it pretty well for the past 9 years despite the scale crawling up with the calendar. I spent 5 of the last 6 years on a low level medication. A year ago, a severe parasitic infection that I picked up abroad had me wondering if I was preserving my liver. After months of trying to control the infection my doctor and I decided that maybe a drug holiday would be in order. As far as my BP was concerned it was contingent of course on the numbers.
I managed to keep things in line for a solid year then the creep set in. First time it was a slight rise, I blamed it on caffeine within the 3 hours prior. The next few times, I blamed it on hormones. I was after-all running every day and I haven't eaten processed food in decades and at this point I was really watching what I was eating. Then came the subtle indicators that something was up, the occasional blurry vision that lasted for less than a few minutes, which I just thought was work stress and sinuses. I do suffer from post-concussion syndrome that comes and goes. Then there was the slight nausea that I have felt since November that I attributed to the fact that things will be changing soon, I am female and almost 50 after all. Last week there was the bloating that I attributed to the same thing.
On Jan 31 I started to think about my dad and how much I missed him. He suffered a stroke when he was my age and died a handful of years later. That was my exact thought, no elaboration, just he had a stroke at my age. Why I was dwelling on that I have no clue? The next day I got an e-mail from a speedskating friend, an early groundhogs day card. My mothers father was a 4th generation CHUCKER, meaning he was from Punxy. My only thought when I opened it was I wished I could have shared it with my "Grampy" because he would have laughed a hearty belly laugh at it. I wrote Bridie and told her of my ancestral connection to groundhogs. She replied with "read your blog…how's the month's exercise going?" That was Thursday, the same day I woke up with a bad ear-ache. The night before I hadn't wanted to skate, I was tired, felt feverish or at least I had been sweating all day like I had one. I skated anyway, felt a bit out of it, but managed. On Thursday however I was in enough pain to actually want to go to the doctor after half my day teaching. I left work after my last class and arrived at the Dr by 2PM. I was there until almost 6 while they tried to decide if I needed to be hospitalized for a medical emergency. My blood pressure? It was a whopping 167/110 and not coming down that easily. The worst, Kenny didn't even know I was at the doctor. I texted him and told him I was being held hostage by a nurse wielding a cuff. I had been there for 3 hours. I had both sets of keys and the car. I was most likely not leaving on my own power. I was most likely heading to Danbury to spend my weekend in PJ's, eating really bad over-cooked processed food and growing tubes. Then came the text CAN YOU COME HOME? I AM SCARED.
By 6 PM I was allowed to go but with strict instructions. No exercise until at least tomorrow, no salt, no caffeine, no getting off the couch, no stress, no…, coaching in Lake Placid this weekend, absolutely NOT!
I had to take a dose of med before bed and come back to the office at 8 AM. I had to make sure that if I experienced any symptoms of what I was told could be a FATAL situation such as blurry vision, nausea, confusion, headache, or pain I needed to call 911 immediately. WTF had I gotten myself into?
So, I sat home all of that night, all of yesterday and now my pressure is back to normal with the help of a diuretic. I have a new perspective on my life and quite frankly loosing weight and living an even more healthy lifestyle is something that is not even a question, it is mandatory! I'm so convinced someone was trying to tell me something and I am grateful!

they scattered...

2011-11-25T18:15:00.000-08:00

We had a blast on Thanksgiving. First it was breakfast with the kids and their friends. We spent the afternoon at my brother's house. We all chipped in preparing. Everyone made it, even Justin and Anna. We ate. We drank. We enjoyed each other's company. My niece and nephew challenged my husband to a variety of sports on the X-Box and he managed to get his but kicked pretty good.

Then, they all scattered, Midnight shopping, 4 AM shopping, 8 AM work, 9AM work, LI, NYC, CT, Parts unknown…

I spent my morning working on my Etsy shop. I met Jessica for coffee to catch up and to talk about my upcoming installation project on the pier in Seattle. March will come quick I am sure. This is going to be quite the winter.

I eventually came home and while I was working the last slice of cranberry apple pie was staring me in the face so I went for a run. I came home and ate that slice of pie. My dinner consisted of pie, chili, and salad in that order.

Now? I am off to have tea with my mom and Anna…at this rate, Monday I will need a break from my break.

Its been awhile

2011-11-17T18:03:00.000-08:00

I have run, I have lost (6 lbs since I started) and I have signed up (to receive the notification for the NY ING Marathon lottery announcement). I have tracked my food, my exercise, my stress level, my pain and I am progressing nicely, though I have this nagging pain in my lower calf that seems to be attached to my knee which is attached to my gracillis, which is attached to my piriformis …wait a minute those 18 repeat ascents up Devils Kill Road in Roscoe in 2003 that tore that muscle are still haunting me? Thankfully an old college friend and team mate is coming to the rescue, thanks Rich.

Today I have been dealing with two emotions, one of sheer joy, an exhibition proposal for NCECA was accepted. With that elation was the sudden PANIC of having to pull something that I thought there was NO chance of happening together by Feb 2 and install it in Seattle (mind you 4200 miles away) during the last week of March. I have never felt total elation with punched in the gut mixed together before, its really interesting. (OK, still trying to resist the urge to hurl and pinch myself at the same time)

Reducing life to one step at a time...

Off the couch and running

2011-11-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Its been a really LONG month, not sure why, but it seems that my life has been on an automatic scheduling pilot that will not let me out of the 14 hour day scenario. I have been so busy lately but at the same time if you asked me I would be at a loss to tell you why.

My studio work has been a whirlwind with some great idea threads and some new learning happening, though my recent firing was a disappointment: great colors, great pieces but stupid scattered carelessness left me with several raw pieces meant to be glazed and several cracked pieces making it into the kiln. I should have just said I am too busy for this and opted out. I was too rushed and though I like the direction of the work I produced it would have been better had I just slowed down and took care to get things done properly.

In the classroom I have been trying to re-invent myself. I think I am at a place where I have been doing this dog and pony show so long that its feeling like it needs to be dusted off and renovated. This may be the source of my latest time suck…

I had come back from Utah lighter, more fit and excited about staying that way. My biking, or any exercise for that matter has taken a back seat to this recent time suck however and this morning I decided enough was enough and went out and did day 1 of the C25K workout series then walked another 30 minutes on top of that. I am trying to take the 1 hour of moderate exercise and portion control approach (500 cal deficit plus 500 cal deficit). Part of this new approach came from listening to NPR about the new findings about weight loss. I basically have to be willing to put in that kind of effort to combat the hormone rebound they are talking about. Twenty more days of this approach will make it a habit.

My friend Kelly was instrumental getting me out there today and kudos to her for pushing me out the door. It wasn't if you decide to go out, it was more like this is where you go to find the app (C25K) and then you go…"the first 2 miles are going to hurt but then you will find your rhythm". That was that, I did it!

screeching into home plate...

2011-09-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

Summer's end came screeching to a hault in a very interesting way this year. It all started the day Kenny and I returned from Burlington two weeks ago. I arrived at school to find out one of my former students (of last year) suffered a traumatic brian injury. I am still having a hard time dealing with it. Then our well started to give us trouble and we spent the better part of that week without water. We finally get the well up and running on Friday just in time for storm prep. I spent the next two days filling containers with water and cleaning in prep for what would be the week from double hockey sticks.
On the storm prep front, there was not a D battery to be found ANYWHERE within a 75 mile radius three days prior to Irene's arrival. On the night before the storm Kenny cooked a few things that would be able to be eaten without prep, bbq chicken, and Pizza. We had a hurricane party of sorts, eating home made Lingucia pizza, drank bronx cocktails and shoju and then we waited. We made sure we showered before turning in so when the power went out we would not feel yukky right away and we filled the tub so that we would have water for flushing for a few days. By 10:30 that night we were filling a bit stood up, it wasn't even raining. Our thought in the morning was that wasn't that bad until we realized that trees, big huge trees were blocking roads all over the place. Kenny and I decided to explore the damage with mtn bikes only to find that my bike had an issue with the rear brake, I was now in a funk. We went for a 2hr walk, but it wasn't the same.
In the afternoon we gathered at Dan and Mary's with Chris and Kaoru for a communal dinner. These types of gatherings are always a joy, and despite not having power, we ate and drank well. This sustenance would prove an essential for surviving the week as our power would not be restored until Wednesday night. In that time we would have to find a means to keeping food cold (not many places had ice and dry-ice that the power company promised became a phantom cause), find gas (we had to travel miles because at one point 95% of our town and 95% of three of the neighboring towns had no power, procure a generator to buy or borrow (thanks Jon and Samantha), and figure out how to resupply our dwindling water, not to mention wash dishes, do laundry and other daily tasks. Not to mention there was the thought that school would be starting under these conditions, thankfully that did not come to fruition. However, we have now used 4 snow days of six possible and we have yet to get the year going. In all of this we realized we dodged the bullet big time. A house that we had wanted to buy in Keene slid down the mountain side, the Guy Park Mansion lost most of its historic collection because walls blew out and whole towns in VT and the Catskills were washed off the planet. Our little hovel was a bit water-logged but nothing that serious (thought it was still a really expensive two weeks to say the least).
In the past few days I have met some incredible people via twitter as we tweeted a war with NYSEG, then there was this couple from the Blazer who shared war stories and baseball (all important Yankee/Red Sox battle) of course there was libations and food too. I even got a guy who never eats salad, to start because the salad I ordered looked SO good after a week of being forced to eat junk. He ordered one too. I have reconnected with old friends, checked in on dear friends who fared far worse than us, and started to do a bit of fall cleaning and gathered stuff to donate to a town in VT (canned goods, gently used shoes, clothes, blankets, jackets, tools). I have managed to finally come to grips with fall being upon us, I am now ready to get back into some kind of routine.
Kenny and I spent the weekend doing what the governor asked, we traveled, though gas, a sandwich and the occasional pint was really the only money we invested. We went upstate and mountain biked with Rich and Alison (of course it was right down the street from my mom's house, giving us new options for things to do while there), and after a pint and a sandwich headed to Dan and Mary's cabin in Lake Luzerne. They live on the Hudson and I was so sure that things would be trashed there only to find that that area weathered the storm quite well and high water and a swift current seemed to be the only remnants. I find this interesting because not to far to the east (15 miles) was devastated, and not too far to the west (15 miles) was trashed as well.
We were on the road and home by 1PM yesterday. We did a bit of yard work, took care of some laundry, rested a bit, syphoned the gas out of the generator, and made plans to meet Jon to return the generator which of course involved mountain biking and beer. We spent an hour in Stewart Bufferzone (state forest preserve) being eaten alive (forgot bug spray) and tooling in and out of single track and double track. This was a fascinating place and I cannot wait to visit again. It was land that was condemned in 1971 by the government, NOT because there was anything wrong with it but because the government wanted it for a super sonic easement for Stewart Airforce base. 1200 people and 375 farms were dislocated. The preserve is a mish-mash of old farm roads, old paved roads, and single track trails in the woods. It was a really pretty place that beckons to be explored more thoroughly. Kenny managed on his third ride off road to do some breathtaking tricks, steep rock drop offs, wall traverses, and river crossings. One trick of note was this wall traverse (more of a rock garden) where the bike got hung up in the rocks and tossed him over the handlebars, he landed on his feet the bike went crashing to the ground. The cat couldn't have done this better. We would have like to have spent more time, but the bugs were really making things miserable because there was so much standing water in places. The slow pace of some of the technical riding seemed to make us a reunion dinner. We hit up the Golden Rail Ale House for some pints afterwards. They had cheap GOOD beer on tap but dressed the way we were in our biking clothing we stuck out like sore thumbs (akin to yuppies in a redneck bar). After a bit we stopped just down the street at Alexis where we split a Greek Salad with chicken on it.
Today included an early morning airport run to get Chris and some cleaning. There was this thought of getting out again on the bikes. Lets see what the weather is doing when we get back from shopping. More rain this week, severe weather even. Hopefully our power will hold out.

School tomorrow (finally).

Off the grid?

2011-08-31T09:57:00.000-07:00

We LOVE camping, go often, and don’t mind living according to the candle. I love making coffee on the camp stove, cooking that way too and even think that there is some merit to having to slow down. I don’t mind the slower pace, the darker nights, the increased need to be more involved in living. I don’t however like when I am thrust into darkness (even with warning) and then not being able to find out when/where I will be able to access basic life services such as dry ice and water, a means to pumping ground water and septic away from my house, a means to not worrying about what is happening to my investment when I am out taking care of basic essentials. If I chose to live off the grid, I would manage life differently. I would have a composting toilet, a means to potable water, and some food storage system to prevent spoilage. I realize that what I am going through is a FAR cry from what others are going through, but it is trying just the same. Maybe someday, soon, we will rejoin the grid and stop having to bail water every 3 hrs at night (we don’t want to run a generator why we are sleeping) or having to worry about where to get cleaned up, iron work clothes, etc.

Today, our electric company pulled something that encourages investigation. Several of my neighbors had their power restored 36 hours ago, and the electric company removed the rest of us from the need to restore list. Thanks to the diligence of several we managed to convince them of the need to re-open the tickets. Then this morning, what was once fixed blew up. A transformer gave out plunging the restored houses back into darkness. The power company refused to believe the reports. They even told a neighbor they would be put back in line. When they did show up a few hours later to fix things, it was only for what had been fixed 36 hours ago not for the “whole thing”. In the end however, there was only a DRIVE-BY and no new work done.

I write this from the comforts of my brother’s house where I stopped to charge a battery or two, get some water, take a shower and so on. I have seen my niece and nephew more this week than I have all summer. For that much I am grateful.

I return to work tomorrow. This will be a challenge with the resources I have but I will manage. Hopefully, as we were told would be so, our life off the grid will be a thing of the past.

#...#...#... (UGHHHHHHHHH)

2011-08-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

On Saturday night, as we sat having a hurricane party and drinking Bronx cocktails, I very foolishly felt like I had been stood up by Irene but by Sunday morning, as she apparently stormed into our neighborhood late (3AM) and with all the vengeance of a belligerent drunk and has so overstayed her welcome now. We have been without power since about 4AM Sunday morning.

In that time:
* no water, no toilet...and despite heeding the call to fill my bathtub and flushing very sparingly without wasting potable water we had a septic problem - ground water was filling out tank and with no way to pump it...
* I have chased dry ice from location to location. It seems that despite only having a small amount of ice, the providers continue to publicize where it will be available. Long drives, long lines, long waits, police on edge, no show trucks, police dispersing crowds, senators advising calling the governors office...and NO ice in the end...I have seen it all
* I have fought with the power company, not because I am impatient but because they have not been seen or provided us with any sort of updates. Actually it wasn't until I wasted 40. in gas and 10 hours of trying to get ahold of dry ice yesterday did I get upset with them. They claimed it was first come first served and that I must not have been there early enough- well when you arrive at a site 2 hours before it officially opens and you are number 234 on a list and the truck never shows up and the police have to break up a crowd of people...or when you arrive at a site 30 minutes before and you are the second one to arrive and the police tell you you cannot wait...things get testy.
*school hasn't even had its first day, and we already have two days to make up in June...

All in all, its not so bad, Jon an Samantha lent us their generator. We drove to Highland to pick it up at 9PM last night. We had a great break at Alexis Diner on the way back (chicken, salad, grape leaves, fries, ice tea). We managed to get our septic pump working, our fridge going, our freezer hooked up before it was too late, and our sump pump running too. The thing is loud but... hey its an improvement.

Our friends and family have offered us showers, laundry, lunch, dinner (generous) and liquor.

# NYSEG? Well despite them telling the town 65% will be restored by 7PM tonight they told me next week would be more like it... so? not sure what to believe. Just exhausted, but hey, its not the 'dacks, the 'cats, or VT right?

park and ride....

2011-08-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

This morning dawned early. The first day of school always does. I got my gear together, grabbed some coffee and a peanut butter sandwich and headed out the door. My destination, the park and ride 10 miles down the road, ten miles closer to work. I didn't want to deal with lights, my blinkys were on the blink, and I honestly did not want to give up the 30 minutes of sleep to add that extra distance. SO, I parked and rode, I guess you could say I followed the directions dictated by the sign, literally.

It was COLD this morning, too cold to be riding in shorts and jersey with no jacket. I think I didn't even warm up when I got to school. I was cold all day, even sitting outside at lunch, even riding the 15 miles back to my car. I even put on a sweatshirt when I got home. I wonder if the same thing will happen tomorrow? Thats if I ride in again. Ia m planning on it, but a bit nervous as I have a later day tomorrow and Chris has a flight to catch. I may just abandon that thought, but we will see. I am packing my bag as if I am pedaling in.

The End recap

2011-08-22T15:06:00.000-07:00

I just watched my son pull off a killer workout. First the explanation, Chris did a hill workout today, with a weight vest on (its like carrying a 5yr old piggyback) and he headed up Keehler, a 1.4 mile climb that is considered a Cat 4 doing a low walk the whole way. The focus was intense, he had to remember certain things: 1. to actually push off rather than letting gravity take him, generating the push rather than falling up the hill 2. to keep his back parallel to the pitch of the road rather than staying really compressed for the whole walk 3. to keep his cadence calculated and not rushed so that each step was intentional not rushed.
Here is the profile:
<a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/47270392">A ride mapped on 08/22/2011</a> <a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/?location=North Salem, NY">Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in North Salem, NY</a>

He reached the top 25 minutes after he started out and then strolled back down (with the vest on- there was nowhere to ditch it). As if that was not enough, he spent another 30 minutes doing abs. You see, unless you have ever experienced Keeler you don't understand. There are A+ cyclists here that HATE that hill more than any other hill around and often avoid it. They cry, cringe, carry on like 2 year olds...Yes it is only a cat 4 climb and the canyons in Utah were HC in places, but this climb does not allow one to gain a rhythm going up, its unpredictably hard each and every time. I think that IS the only predictable thing about it. BUT Chris walked you say? Yes, technically, but a low walk is different. Squat down like you are sitting on the edge of a chair (knees forward), now keep your back parallel to the ground (but relaxed) and walk making sure only to have one foot on the ground at any given time and MAKE SURE your hips stay at that same height (remember the chair seat) the whole time, no coming up. Now, walk up hill for over a mile, oh wait, don't forget the kindergartner on your back that you are giving a ride to...hurting yet? Most people have difficulty walking this way on flat ground, without a vest for more than 3 minutes, he endured this for 25min up this isn't so bad, this sucks farts, wtF, I am going to shoot myself, OS I am going to puke, you have to be kidding me, its not over yet, Keeler Lane. Thank God it wasn't HOT!!!

Who was the mastermind of this ingenious idea? Bud. I joined them on this escapade, walking along side them, trying not to puke. Thinking about how Bud and I used to ride repeats on that hill occasionally and how I used to be on the verge of puking or passing out each and every time, usually in the same place, where I would start to think that it was NEVER going to end. Looking back, that summer was the summer before my first year at New Canaan. I was training for a very long cross state ride that would require me to put in about 100 miles a day for 6 days straight, one of those days was actually 150 miles. Bud helped me train and I managed that ride, all 650 miles of it, at 18.5 mph. I felt like that summer was too short. I started school the day after I finished that ride.

Tomorrow I start school. Its the end of a dream like summer that seemed to rush by so quickly. I managed to dance at a concert with the headliner (and some really good friends), cross the country (both north and central), see things I have always wanted to see, spend some time learning about physiology, spend a good deal of time on my bike (and even more time on my other bike in the woods), try golf, I got to camp, swim in COLD lakes, climb on massive sand dunes, complete a workout I hadn't done since college and even though I didn't make it to the beach once I felt like my summer was complete (almost). Its hard to go back to that 5AM- 9PM time frame. I am so much more of an 11-7 person. Hey, at least I have next summer to look forward to. (I am applying for a residency SOMEWHERE). I also want to try to put a team together for the Salt to Saint. Anyone who thinks they are interested, has a local connection to get us both an RV and a van...let me know. PS Riding in the dark ROCKS! Trust me on that one.

So on the schedule for tomorrow? I am driving to the park and ride in Bedford and riding my bike from there to school. Why drive at all? I don't want to start with 50 milers back to back even in this kind of shape, school is tiring, and I want to ride more than one day this week. Its my way of squeezing out every last drop of summer.

Curtis's BBQ, then onto Burlington, finally!

2011-08-22T09:12:00.000-07:00

Kenny and I have been meaning to get to Burlington, VT for ages, probably as long as we have been known each other, which is just about 27 years. It was interesting how this weekend's plans came about, all I wanted to do was go to Saratoga to visit my mom, watch Susie and Larry's horse run, go gallery hoping with Susie, and mountain biking with Kenny (and maybe Alison and Rich too). I could see in Kenny's face, that while he would be happy to oblige, we needed to have time for ourselves. (I think his head spins sometimes at my dizzying pace and the above plans were packed full of stuff). So I started to think about how to do all of the above, and still have our OWN time and asked him if camping in Moreau State Park would be help?

Somehow, in all the thoughts of my plans, Kenny decided that we should go camping for the weekend, but not in Saratoga but someplace that we had not been, like Burlington. So we made plans. We found a place to camp in Shelburne, VT, four miles south of Burlington. We found something to do during the day, mountain biking at Catamount Outdoor Center, and we found farmers market to peruse and a bunch of places to "try", etc...

We headed out on Friday, stopping along the way at Curtis's BBQ, in Putney VT. Kenny and I read about Curtis's school bus BBQ in the New York Times Food and Dining section shortly after we got married and have wanted to get by there at some point. Honestly, we tried several times but something always got in the way. When Kenny and I got married, we used to clip recipes and destinations from the NYT and the Daily News and put them in a photo book. We are talking 1987, pre-tech. I have spent my morning looking through that book to see if there is anything else I should remember. Why we both remembered that place without looking it up is beyond me, maybe it was all the missed chances at stops. IT WAS WELL WORTH THE STOP! In other words GO HERE!!! (Often!)

In some senses the whole weekend seemed like a date. Despite both of us going to VT prior to getting married, we came to the conclusion that we have spent some of our best "times" away from home in Vermont since and it didn't matter where it was. I think we just like to pace of the place. I saw a sticker this weekend "keep VT weird" which upon further investigation is an organization that is interested in keeping Vermont sustainable so that it continues to embody what Vermont is to everyone that lives there and wants to live there. I think Kenny and I are in that "want to" category.

So we arrive in Shelburne, set up camp, go out and get the things we forgot (pillows, a pot to boil water in) as well as some basics, like ice and beer and we head back to the campsite and cook dinner, make a fire and just hang out. In that time Kenny witnesses a guy shaving his forearms, which can only mean one thing, there is a triathlon he is getting ready for. Its the only way to get a wet suit on and off quickly without it PULLING at the hair. A quick check on the internet finds that USA Tri is having their age group nationals in Burlington...heck that wasn't even on Burlington's chamber calendar...it was somewhere buried deep... HMMMM this is why I love this place (a very LARGE event in a very SMALL city and the TOWN didn't stop giving to the rest of the tourist trade to host it? we are talking zero impact to us other people not participating).

When I make the comment zero impact I do so because Saturday morning we awoke at 8AM after a long night of thinking we had a bear in camp. I mean Kenny even woke up thinking that at 2AM, so it wasn't just my fear getting the better of me. We realized that we took care of cleaning all of our camp up except...the most important task...the garbage. CRAP!!! Were we the cause of this critter in camp? So we got up, we both had to pee now (nerves) and we decided we would take care of our trash bag on the way. What we discovered it the guy in the pop-up across the way snores the way a BEAR SNORTS. You may be laughing, go ahead, but the next night we had new neighbors, and at about 3 AM the guy got up because he realized he too left STUFF out and started cleaning his campsite up...it woke me up and guess what? The guy in the pop- up sounded even more convincing the second night.

Back to Saturday morning. After dining on linguica and eggs for breakfast we headed to the farmer's market for several reasons, we like checking out what other markets look like and I needed to stop by and talk to Christine at BIKERECYCLEDESIGNS, which is an organization that recycles bikes for low-income people who need transportation. They also sell jewelry and other artwork created from bike parts to help fund the project. I had planned on volunteering for an hour in the morning at the shop, but they were closed because it was market day. I had promised Christine that I would come by to see what their ware looked like and to meet her and Ron. It was an incredible meeting. I left there hoping a few of my former students, who go to school in Burlington, would consider volunteering for them. (HINT, HINT, HINT!!!!) Now, how to get something like that started here in a place where most of the low income in need of transportation people are immigrants and seen as a blight. (no judgement and no comment, I will just leave it hanging out there)

After the market we headed on to our next adventure, shredding up the trails at Catamount. It was Kenny's first off road experience so I picked a place that had a good mix of single and double track so that there would be something to ride, always. Well, after about 20 minutes of easy double track we were in the woods on a tight single track and spent the next 3 hours going back and forth between tight, moderately technical riding and double track of varying difficulty. We lunched in a meadow with lots of wildflowers and rode along a ravine with drop offs and banked turns. We left there feeling like we rode hard and had fun but stayed within our ability to keep it enjoyable. I think we impressed the kid at the front desk who was sure we would only last an hour, especially since it was Kenny's first time out. (thanks Jon for letting us borrow the bike)

We added to our day's adventure by heading to North Beach and swam for a bit before heading back to shower and get ready for dinner. We had an apertif at the Farmhouse which consisted of VT beer. Hey we are in VT and I am with my husband who is a BEER ...ok, lets just say he doesn't drink yellow piss in a can unless its the occasional PBR and bottles are always LOCAL FARE never corporate conglomerates. So our cocktail hour followed suit. We then took a long walk along the Church Street Mall and found two really cool things, one was this great LOCAL bookstore (Crow Books) that was across the mall from a mega store going out of business (Borders) and YES they hung on and seemed to be busier than the chain's going out of business sale was (YAY- hang in there, its almost over) and the Outdoor Gear Exchange which is dedicated to promoting the outdoors and all it holds by selling both new and used outdoor gear. After our walk we were famished and headed to American Flatbread for dinner and of course some more local beer. (think wine tasting not redneck party hound)

We finally headed back for our last night in camp and burned the rest of our wood, cleaned up, had another restless night of sleep thanks to bear man across the way and got up to another fabulous breakfast before catching the ferry back to NY. This ferry experience was not a bad one, thank God. We stopped quickly in 'Toga to see my mom had lunch, did some back to school shopping and headed home. We arrived home to an intact house and Chris making us some curry for dinner. Our weekend was fantastic! The perfect end to a summer of adventure that seemed to go all too quickly. Tonight is a school night for me, which does not seem possible, not yet.

Mikey headed back to school on Friday for his final semester. Chris heads back to SLC for two weeks on Wednesday because his break is that much longer. When he gets back, and we finally settle into fall (and his last season as a HS athlete) he will be applying to several colleges (Utah, Wisconsin, Marquette, MN as he attempts to follow the ice). Changes are on the way. Anna moves to Philadelphia as a post-graduate choice next week. Funny, I think of a question my friend Jon asked me last week when Chris and I were in New Paltz riding..."you and Kenny went to school here, you love this town, when you moving back?" Something we have always had thoughts of...maybe in seven years time? Who knows?

A friendly competition? (more like a battle with myself)

2011-08-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Its the end of the summer. There is a ritual to this time of year. This year is no different, only the stakes for the upcoming year are a bit different. On the school front, The administrative staff I will be working with has changed, one of my colleagues has retired and a few of the students I learned so much from have graduated. There is still that drive to be at the top of my game as a teacher, and that is exhausting. To think I haven't even started yet. Why is it so important to continue to better myself? What you expect to hear is that its for the students sake but I will tell you that it is a bit more of a selfish reason, it keeps my job fresh, keeps me wanting to come to work. Then there is THAT bit of ego THAT creeps in and I am afraid not to reach. Someone else might show me up. (oh the stress of this- hold that thought)

As for coaching, my son doesn't like listening to me anymore (teenagers!). I have come to the conclusion that coaching him is a HUGE challenge that I cannot take personally so I have been trying to ignore... Then there is this other thought, I have taken on a new position at a local speedskating club. I am really excited about this venture but sad that the former coach has retired. I learned more from him about teaching than I ever had in any class. I wonder if I can fill his shoes. Yet I know, as a different person, with a different teaching style, that this expectation of myself is not realistic. Then there is the ego. There are many who have these expectations of me, who will undoubtedly be very critical and waiting for me to fail (and they aren't even from the club). What do I do with those feelings? There is this pressure to out-preform. (this too is stressful- and hold that thought too).

Then there is my studio life, something I have neglected lately, or have I? Just because I haven't touched clay in about 7 weeks does not mean that I am out of the game? Whats typical over the summer is that I do a great deal of studio work, almost as if I am making up for lost time with the relaxed pace. Well this summer I have traveled extensively, crossed the country 2x and put almost 12,000 miles on a brand new car. I have gained a great deal of inspiration from what I have seen. There is this reality, however, I have a wood-firing in a month's time, and I need to get a great deal of work done, make up for lost time. (this thought is stressful- hold that thought)

OK, financial wows, trying not to buy into the Jones's perspective on material acquisitions and yet knowing that there are certain things that need attention. The kitchen... finding 3 sponsors for Chris to help cover the 15K season (you'll get logo space on his USA skinsuit - shameless plug)...new skate boots for Chris...finding a way to raise another 2.2k for Dana Farber (giant pit in the stomach stressfull)...and everything else that needs attention (CALGON won't even touch this stress- hold that thought)

The there is taking care of myself. Making the time to exercise, to eat right, to sleep enough, to challenge myself to want to do more for me. Do I even have the time for this? How do I keep the above stress from strangling me, robbing me of my me time? (stressful - hold that thought)

SO what to do with all this stress? If I hold it in it just becomes bricks and mortar on my waistline. If I let it out, I run the risk of loosing some of my drive...(oye, the stress of it)

I started this post because I read the Healthy Living Blog in today's NY Times and it got me thinking about the people I know who need to WIN at all costs. They think less (alot) of the people around them that don't share this mentality even to the point of balking at something as gracious as a volunteer effort. Immediately I felt my stress level (and anger) rising, and I found myself wondering why I care so much about what these types think? Why the competition? Who is that (un)friendly contest with anyway? There will always be those that believe only those capable of winning should enter the race. That will NEVER change. I say to the rest of you something I learned from a very wise 24 year old top of the heap skater who is focused enough on what is important that he has the time to give back. "Buying into that win at all costs mentality will actually hold you in contempt of your own life. You'll eventually get in your own way and find you have no one around to help you out, so live positively, give, and the world will give back ten fold."

Thanks to the recommendation of a friend, I am reading this book called the Talent Code (Daniel Coyle). You can find his book and blog at this link. I am fascinated by this book because it discusses all the tenants one knows to be true as an observant teacher, that talent is something that is taught, not innate. What one does with that developed talent depends on the type of practice that is engaged in. Reading has let me affirm some of my practices as a teacher. It has also led me to understand that I know why I stress at all those things that I need to feel more comfortable with. Its all part of the process, call it practice, of becoming whole. As I try to figure out how to let go of the unnecessary (stresses) and continue on with the purposeful, I try to remember that the more I give, the more I will get back, and notoriety has nothing to do with it.

AwA (adventures with Alison)

2011-08-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

I look at visual contour of the acronym AwA and it basically describes the past couple of days. It started Thursday morning, a 2 hour ride that was supposed to be off road in Clifton Park turned out to be a trail ride because the single track available did not afford us fairly new technical riders any warm-up problem solving time, you know a bit of double track or even wide single track with a few technical problems thrown in. The trails were also un-marked and without any kind of map, topo or otherwise, it made for some nerve-wracking moments. We bailed after 15 minutes and rode the bikeway instead for the next 2 hours. Upon leaving the park we met up with this guy who was very involved with SMBA, something I just joined last week on my travels east from Utah. He told us that this area had a nice double track loop with lots of easy and intermediate single track that were off shoots, as well as plenty of black diamond terrain. He also offered to show us where to ride with him in the park we were just leaving. We declined, but thanked him whole heartedly for the info and the time. Alison was under a time constraint and quite honestly, even though there were two of us, the thought of AX MURDERER crossed my mind (nervous LOL) which was a switch from my usual worry about breaking an appendage or ending up like Aaron Ralston, pinned and forced to amputate.
After departing I found myself perusing the farmers mkt in Balston Spa for dinner. It was interesting to buy for only one person. I had no clue what I wanted, or needed so I decided to go with what looked good. For a total of $15. I could have fed 4-6 people. I bought a pound of heritage pork sausages, some california peppers, 6 rolls, a bunch of candy striped beets, a bunch of tuscan kale, a cucumber, some romaine and a box of cherry tomatoes. Dinner was a romaine and kale salad (cucumber, radishes, carrot and tomatoes too), steamed beets (of course I saved the greens) and sausage and peppers on fresh rolls.
Friday morning we had planned a road ride but with the disappointment of Thursday's ride, we decided to head off road again, this time in Saratoga. This was an exhilarating change! The guy we spoke to (Ax M) was correct in his description of the place and armed with a trail map (its surprising at how much confidence that creates) we headed hit those trails hard, even venturing off onto a few black diamonds after warming up. We crossed a great wooden bridge, needed bug spray, different lenses in the glasses and nerves of steel in a few places (the hornets nest hanging in the middle of the line of travel at chest to face height yet hiding in a shadow- man that had the potential to ruin a day!!!) , balls in others (the rock decent that was short, stepped, steep and had an abrupt t-turn at the very end). After a solid hour of pedaling and 30 minutes of sight seeing we emerged super-charged, dripping with sweat and HUNGRY!!! This was nothing that the Fortunate Cup couldn't fix. After some quality time with Mom's I met Alison again for a round of golf (hahahaha, my first). This was an experience. I survived even though I was FORCED to play right handed (lol). It was one adventure beer fixed. I was so stoked afterwards that I sent my dear CUZ a note about how I played my first round of golf and feel like a part of the family now (my parents were avid golfers until I came along. They decided I was better suited to tennis or softball). His response: only if you are a BAD golfer!!! Thanks Noah (LOL)

This morning, a ride around the lake, no not Saratoga, but Round. I was in search of this elusive village that EVERYONE tells me exists and that I would LOVE (HAH) after 15 miles at 17 MPH (2 of them on a brindle path and all without water) I decided I give up, I couldn't find it!

Next weekend? Camping in Shelbourne, VT with Kenny (Mtn biking and pub crawling)

Now? 127 hours (read the book already - in it for the scenery and NETFLICKS usage)

From BAD to GOOD

2011-08-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

My last post was about our camping adventure just outside Badlands NP in South Dakota. Its a week since that day and we have made our way home in a round about way, but we are here. I woke up in my own bed with my cat following me around like I might leave her again and swatting me in the head every so often as if she is saying "how could you have left me for 5 weeks?"

After leaving the Badlands and spending a wonderful night with the Hartman's in MN and seeing my friend Chris who now lives in Roseville of all places we headed to Chicago to surprise our die-hard White Sox fan of a son with Yankee tickets at Cellular field (notice I am still taking lessons from Switzerland and staying neutral though a B/W pinstripe sticker did end up on my car). We had a blast at the game. This park was smaller than the NY counterpart, and much more accessible with LOTS of interactive stuff to do. My only beef is that 5th tier seating does not allow you to access any of it. We slept in that night after the game and left Chicago at 11AM. We arrived in Saratoga at 1:30AM but we did stop a number of times. Dinner was in Mentor, OH just outside of Cleveland in a little place called Lakeshore Eatery. The pot roast and breaded pork chops were wonderful. I had perch, which was good, but fried fish is fried fish. In any case if you find yourself between NY and Cleveland on route 90 its worth the short 3 mile trip out of the way. Its not on the lake though, despite what the name implies.

Friday morning came early. We were up at 9 repacking and out the door by 11 to get me to Sturbridge to check in for the PMC by 1 and Chris to the Martha's Vineyard ferry by 4:30. Everything worked out well. I met up with my team and a the surprise of a former student and aspiring photo journalist/environmental scientist at dinner. It was such a joy to see Leslie and a few current students from NCHS that came along to cheer on her dad who was riding as well. Although, at the time, in my head I was thinking that despite training for this, I wasn't sure that ending a cross country rode trip with a 192 mile bike ride was sensible. Then I saw Deklan at the opening ceremonies and I knew I had to figure it out.

PMC 2011 Opening Ceremonies at Sturbridge from David Hellman on Vimeo.

Deklan in a pedal partner with Team Kermit. He was diagnosed with a very rare form of brain cancer when he was 15 months old. He is alive today because the Jimmy Fund at Dana Farber did not think that diagnosing 32 children per year with his type of brian tumor was too little to research and treat.

On Saturday morning (before dawn was even a thought) I made my way to breakfast, ready to join Lance Armstrong, Sen. Kerry, Sen. Brown, the Bruins, the wives of the BosSox, 55 team Kermit members, and about 5,000 other people in a 192 mile journey across the state of MA.

I began my journey of 111 miles with a very large vintage Kermit perched upon my head. At first I couldn't figure out why my helmet adjustment was off, then I hit the first down hill and thought this is never going to work. Then it started to get really, really heavy! I remember this guy going buy saying to me thats a really big frog on your head, your neck is going to hurt by the end of the day. As much as I hated the guy for that comment I knew he was right, but I wanted to be a team player. At the first rest stop I used a bit of ingenuity and strapped him to my handlebars, where he sat perfectly as if he were meant to be there. I left that pitstop with Ellen, and rode the whole way with her taking pictures when we wanted, taking our time, enjoying the ride. The 111 mile day went fast despite all of that. My back did act up at around 80 miles, probably from sitting all week in the car? Tylenol and delegating one water bottle to ice which I stuck in the center back pocket did the trick. I was amazed at how much spectator support there was. There seemed to be as many as the TdF at times, three/four deep, lots of cow bell and horns. It was enlightening. I was so glad I was wearing glasses because it allowed me to get choked up without people knowing it. I was riding with Ellen, a friend who lost her son to cancer. I have learned so much from her. She helped me so much last spring when my mom was sick. I know that the PMC must be hard for her as they used to volunteer as a family when her son was sick, now they ride it as an annual memorial. "One day the PMC will be a party rejoicing in a cure for this horrible disease"

We arrived at MMA to Steve and Adam waiting to fetch our bikes for us, help us get our gear situated and get some food. We sat there with the rest of team Kermit who despite eating already joined us at the table to keep us company. We washed down dinner with some Harpoon, went off to take our team picture, grab a shower, listen to music, drink another IPA and head to bed.

MMA is situated on the Cape Cod canal. It reminds me of Jamestown and Newport Harbor. The wind picked up that night and with the windows in the dorm open it completed the memory of the CYC in Jamestown and the days when we used to get together up there. On my way into MMA there was a support sign that said go Skip Gorman, you got this. Was it possible that my friend Chris's brother was one of the 5,000 riders? I have had my friend Chris in my prayers for a bit as he waits to find out his prognosis. The experience at MMA made me wonder if he felt my prayers, or maybe it was just Helen was listening from Heaven?

I woke up at 3:45 AM to howling winds and heavy rain. It was ominous. We had another 82 miles in front of us. After a great breakfast I went to fetch my bike and panicked, it was gone, moved... apparently the rack of bikes had collapsed and Steve had moved my bike to a very obvious spot, but I completely missed it until he gave me a hint on where to find it. With that solved we headed out at 5:45 over the Bourne Bridge and onto the Canal Path. It was funny being in that park under the bridge. I used to hang out there with my friend Tim and his brother Kevin. We would sit, listen to music and watch the boats and the cars crossing the bridge. There was this one time I remember vividly, Annette was there. We blasted "The Who". As I rode all I could think about was "Behind Blue Eyes".

The route on the cape was similar to what I am used to riding here, big rollers. Lots of up and down. It was much less taxing then the fairly flat second half of the century yesterday. It was wet and with wet clothing comes friction. By mile 46 I had had it. I bailed on my efforts. It hurt to sit. It hurt to stand on my pedals. Hurt it not a good description, excruciating is more like it. The 50/50 mix of bag balm and 2.5% cortisone was doing nothing for me. It was the wet shorts that kept the issue compounded. I had a keen reminder of what acute diaper rash must feel like to a baby! I wanted to cry despite my high tolerance for pain. It sucked in a way because my legs were fine. I could have ridden another 100 on them but at what cost? Not to worry my adventure did not end here just my ride.

In the sag wagon I sat with three other people, a woman with the flu (Roberta I hope you feel better), Brescia a newbee cyclist who got behind THE CURVE from the lack of experience and guidance. Hats off to her, she managed 156 miles after training on her own with no one to teach her what was important. And then there was a man, I forgot his name, who had crashed on the vinyl striping on the side of the road. He was pretty banged up but refused care because he wanted to go to Brigham and Women's instead. (great hospital) He was quite an interesting guy, 75 years old, his 17 time doing this ride, and had raised a ton of funds each and every one of those years. He did not look a day over 60. I only hope I have another 30 years of this sport! Later on the trip another cyclist joined us, he wanted to get a lift to a spot 5 miles from the finish. He was too exhausted to finish the last 20. Then there was Steve, the driver and volunteer. He was incredibly nice and very encouraging, not to mention funny. All of the volunteers were extremely helpful except the old woman who was at the medical tent in Nickerson. She was cute but clueless but she meant well. I just went away for a few minutes and came back to talk to someone else.

After arriving in Province Town and rescuing my bike from a near shipping error (quite the ordeal) I got a shower, shared some food with one of my team mates and his family, and headed to the ferry dock in torrential rain, wind and chilly temps. The seas were so rough that our ferry was 50 minutes late and there was no shelter of any speakable significance to wait at. Waiting on line we even lost a rider to hypothermia, sad they got him into an ambulance just as we were boarding the ferry. As we boarded the boat the cabin was transformed immediately into a changing room. The heat was cranked up and then just as the cabin became stuffy and warm we were warned about the extremely rough seas. A comment was made about the barf bags being placed on the counter. At that point my eyes were closed, my head was down, I was meditating and knew I could really use one to have one of those bags on hand but also knew I would be doomed if I got up to get it so I worked within my abilities to cope. Then things started to unravel, first someone started blasting some music, which made focusing on my breath really difficult, then one of my team mates gave rise to the mantra, "its not easy being green" by tossing his lunch onto my foot, then it was ALL over for me. I tried to contain myself but it just wasn't going to happen. We cleared our side of the boat, I was surprised it wasn't listing afterwards. After a very rough 2 hours we finally landed in Boston Harbor, where Kenny fetched me shivering, crying, incredibly wet and cold. I changed into the only dry clothes I had right in the middle of the street (my newly issued PMC jersey was still in its plastic bag and a pair of gym shorts that was at the bottom of a bag of laundry), got into the car and headed home. Poor Kenny, he had to pull over for several more episodes of hurling in the course of the 3 hour trip. We even stopped to get me a warm biscuit and some coke. It helped enough to let me sleep the rest of the ride home. Though I was up a few times during the night too. I slept most of the day today, or at the very least didn't move much from the couch. The cat who was so happy to see me last night, gave me the cold shoulder this morning, eventually spent the rest of the day blobbing with me on the couch.

As I look back on this incredible weekend, between the support of the spectators, the diligence of the volunteers, the courage of the riders, the diversity of the riders, and overall comradery of the group I find it hard not to have a smile come to my face. It was that incredible. Now, I just have to finish raising the funds I promised to raise. If you have already made a donation, thank you. If you can find it in your hearts to contribute now thank you. Just know that you will be a part of a Cancer Center that is going to no end to find a cure. The weekend's mantra, "commit and you'll figure it out" says it all. Cancer touches everyone. Lets strive to make that a historical statement rather than a present reality. Let's commit to figure it out. You can donate online or send me a check made out to the PMC/Jimmy fund (48 Entrance Way, Purdys NY 10578) or you can even text a donation PMC LF0085 to 20222. Thanks so much for all of your support!

We weren't in Kansas but...

2011-08-03T06:47:00.000-07:00

We hauled across Wyoming trying to get to Mt Rushmore and the Badlands before dark. It was a beautiful day, a bit hot but still gorgeous. We took some time through the Bighorn, which boasts 9.5K elevations with open range for sheep and cattle. We were making good time until we got to the two mtn ranges we had to cross, then we were slowed down significantly by RV traffic. We arrived at Mt. Rushmore at 5PM and after a VACATION view and a photo op of Chris picking Lincoln's nose we hopped back in the car with the intention of getting to Badlands before dark. With no firm plans on where to stay we decided to make a reservation that was at a KOA 30 miles east of Badlands and headed out so that we would have an easy morning getting on the road.
We arrived at Badlands just before sunset, pronghorn grazing along the road and a lightening show from a storm raging somewhere in the distance. The light show was amazing. As we traveled the loop road at dusk, it was eerie but cool. We left towards our night's accommodation's just as that storm reached Cedar Pass. I kept a firm eye on both it and NOAA. There was a no notice of concern other than a scattered thunderstorm warning. The storm at Cedar Pass was picking up and it was following us.
We arrived at the KOA just before 10 and before the storm hit and set up camp. We had figured that as long as we set up, even if we had to wait it out in the car we wouldn't have to deal with setting up when it was wet (mistake number 1). We through all our gear in the tent too. (mistake number 2). Then the storm hit with lightening that was close enough to raise the hair and wind that was attempting to toss the car. As we waited out the storm inside the Subaru, we watched as our tent broke loose of its footing on one side and toppled over. When it was all said and done, our tent poles were snapped, the fabric was ripped, the tarp and rain fly was in a field a half mile away, and our gear was in a puddle. The MUD was another factor. We bagged up all the wet stuff in garbage bags, dragged the tent to the dumpster, loaded the bikes and sat for a minute in the drizzling aftermath trying to figure out our next step. The campground manager came by and asked us if we were ok. We told him we were going to try to find accommodations with 4 walls. Somehow, as if I was on automatic pilot I asked the guy if there were any cabins available. I was that tired. I didn't want to drive another mile let alone 60. The campground offered us a cabin for nothing. I think they felt bad because they had not been able to warn us about the storm. NOAA didn't post the HAZARDOUS weather warning until it was right on top of us. We took advantage of the dryers in the laundry room and got the sleeping bags dried in 20 minutes. We finally get to bed just past midnight, which all things considered, was no big deal though it made traveling yesterday difficult.
After another 8 hour driving day, we ended up in Roseville, MN at our friends house. What a treat, good company, great fun and relaxing. Today? We will be off to Chicago momentarily.

Blurr...

2011-08-01T06:47:00.000-07:00

We left Salt Lake City two days ago and headed for Yellowstone. We took the scenic byway (route 89) through Bear Lake, Logan, and the Cache ( a few trucks as well as granny and her RV did too). What should have taken just over 6 hours according to my GPS took forever. We got into Jackson, WY around dinner and decided, since it was a bit wet to stay put. Despite this being a setback, we enjoyed ourselves. We hit Snake River brewing for dinner and walked around town. Kenny and I then dropped Chris back at the hotel and went out on a date to the Million Dollar Cowboy Bar.

When I was 8 my mom took my brother and I too see a horror flick (quite accidentally) called Grizzly. I think she thought it was a documentary and we were so into the series Grizzly Adams. I am guessing that that was a formative experience because since I have been old enough to do things on my own I have had a heart stopping petrifying fear of Grizzlies. I had planned on camping in Yellowstone to get over that a bit and was nervous all day. I was incredibly relieved yet quite disappointed just the same when we decided to hotel it.

Yesterday morning I hit the road on my bike at 6AM which was probably a stupid idea, but I just had to get my legs moving. Believe me if a mouse made a noise on that ride I would have jumped out of my skin. I rode up to Teton NP and turned around. It was only a 12 mile ride. I was on the road at first and then realized there was this path that followed the road and hopped on there to avoid the RV traffic. After a few minutes I was too nervous about surprising an animal that I hoped back on the road. My one incredible moment was cresting this hill to have an incredible view of the Tetons. By the way, it was cold enough in the mountains to NEED a jacket. Morning riding temp? 38 degrees.

After an incredible breakfast we were off to Grand Teton then Yellowstone. In Teton my fear got the better of me but by the time we were in Yellowstone I had relaxed a bit and was able to enjoy myself and the interesting diversity the park had to offer. Our trip through the park took all day. We walked about 5 miles to see numerous thermal features. We actually didn't see ANY wildlife until after 5PM. at 8PM we finally headed toward Cody, WY through the Sylvan Pass which was still very snow covered. We arrived in Cody, found a motel, and went off to have dinner at this Saloon. Kenny and I ordered a plate of Rocky Mtn oysters for the table and a Red Lodge IPA (a Montana brewery).

This morning? We are SD bound! Pictures coming soon (FB has quite a few!)

what can I say other than I had NOTHING LEFT

2011-07-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

I have been waking up the past two days feeling like I could have used another 2 hours of sleep. I have been soooo tired and my asthma has been acting up since Monday. Today however, I knew I was behind the curve before I even got to the oval and by afternoon I was battling myself about going for a ride. Chris even told me to bag it (I should have listened). I went anyway and an hour into the 2 hour ride I was tailing a good handful of miles behind and calling Matt to fetch me. I should have had a clue when that this was a bad idea when I told him I felt like I was on the verge of hurling before I even hit the road. SO tomorrow? I am taking off. (LOUNGING BY THE POOL)

"May I ask you, what is one of your favorite workouts?"

2011-07-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

A few days ago Joey and I went for a casual spin, nothing more than just a 15 mile ride with lots of good conversation. At one point I was asked the question about favorite workouts. I was stumped. I have been coaching for a really long time and I have a ton of workouts but all I could come up with was this crazy 8 ladder that I came up with for Chris, Andrew, Nick and Matt. It goes something like this: 8 lap warm up 8 j's, 8 laps hard, 8 laps easy, 8 laps medium, 8 laps easy, 8 laps easy, 8 minute break, 8 laps easy, 8 reverse j's, 8 laps easy, 8 laps medium, 8 laps easy, 8 laps hard, 8 laps easy, 8 lap cool down. Intensity is based on RPE more than HR. I used this workout as something for them to focus on in the evening session on the ice in Lake Placid.

The question has been bothering me since Joey asked. I tell you this because today I found myself in the Kearns long course pool swimming in a lane next to the swim team and they were doing one of my favorite long course workouts, 50 x 50 on 50sec. I found myself keeping pace with them and they were just as happy to do it as I remember being in college at the pool in Ft. Lauderdale during winter break. Its a challenging and fun workout and the key is to come in on time and not swim though (fall behind). I managed 43 today before I got dropped and I have to say I am completely FRIED, done, legs left in the canyons and arms left in the pool. Lungs? Hmm, I am really not sure where they are but they are definitely not here. I left the oval this afternoon feeling like the only thing holding me up was endorphins coursing through my veins.

My time in the water today got me thinking about some of the other workouts and how Peri used to get pissed off if we pushed the beginning of a set of 10x 100 with 30 sec rest. I started to think about how I could apply similar workouts to the ice. Yes Joey, you got me thinking about making things both fun and challenging, so for you, your challenge might look like 40 x 400 on 40. See you on the ice!

I seem to have this limit to my ability to climb at altitude

2011-07-25T11:47:00.000-07:00

Somewhere between 7,200 and 8,000 feet my body seems to have an issue with with altitude when it comes to climbing on a bike.Today I dropped Chris off at the rink and headed out on my bike 15 minutes later. Today's route was an out and back up Big Cottonwood Canyon. From the mouth of the canyon its 12 miles to Solitude. Its actually a pretty comfortable ride, the grade is far shallower than that of Little Cottonwood, however, I seem to get to a point between 7200 and 8000 feet where my body has other ideas about progress.Steep pitches at this elevation seem to cause me to get light headed, shaky, and cause headaches when I attempt to climb them on my bike. I marvel at this because when hiking or skiing above this point it takes a bit longer for this to manifest. It must be a direct correlation to the level of exertion? Here are the stats;

 <a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/43087452">A ride mapped on 07/25/2011</a> <a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/?location=West Jordan, UT">Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in West Jordan, UT</a> 

Its Pioneer Day today in Utah, a state holiday that rivals the 4th of July in festivities. The canyons were a bit busy with family picnics. This made traffic a bit of an issue at times and with each picnic area having its own fire ring, the burning of pinon, which I am so allergic to, made the air quality a bit hard to deal with today I returned home a bit exhausted!

Hopefully tonight we will catch the BIG fireworks at Liberty Park with Andrew and his family.

Why would a place like that have LITTLE in its name? There is nothing little about it.

2011-07-24T08:26:00.000-07:00

Seven-thirty felt early but never the less we were off on our canyon adventure. We warmed up on Wassatch Blvd and by the time we hit the canyon we were ready to get down to business. Little Cottonwood Canyon Rd is about 12 miles long and climbs at a steady 9% with several steeper pitches. We rode eight of them.

A ride mapped on 07/24/2011

Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in Salt Lake City, UT

The climb up the canyon itself was rather rhythmic, almost predicable in a sense and while I found it difficult at times, it was never extremely uncomfortable for long. I did however have a great deal of trouble with my heart rate at the last pitch before our turnaround point. I couldn't get it to come down enough to be comfortable pedaling (dizzy, lightheaded, pounding in the ears), so sadly, with the end in sight I made the turn for home. Coming down the canyon was almost more difficult than the climb. At one point I was afraid that I would have no break pads left at the bottom despite using the grab and release method of slowing my speed.One of the best moments was when one of the young skaters said it was awesome to see me that high up on the mountain and that she only made it half as far her first time. I thought about this for a bit, by the end of the day yesterday I had the desire to try it again. I know that part of my biological stress yesterday was due to not knowing what to expect as far as physical demands. Now that I know that climb is predictable enough to squeak out that last little bit.

I plan on riding big cottonwood tomorrow while Chris is at practice. I hear that this canyon is not quite as steep though its considerably longer. Of course you will hear how it goes.

reflection

2011-07-21T07:47:00.000-07:00

As I rode yesterday with the group I was with I saw Chris pass me in the other direction with his team. Chris had borrowed last years Kermit jersey and at one point before we rode I had fixed his collar in true motherly fashion and caught a glimpse of the JMB memorial on it. I wondered if Jared had ever ridden in Utah and was sure he knew full well how much mental strength it was taking Chris to get out there and ride after a 3 hour workout just a few hours before. As he waved hi I found myself thinking about the PMC and then Adam, and then other siblings, like Jimmy's seven sisters and brother and Hanna's brother and sister and what it must be like for them to suddenly be without one their closest friends and playmates there. My heart wrenched.

When I was at the plateau waiting for my heart rate to come down, it was so hot and I made the comment that I wish the team had considered tank jerseys. With that Ryan asked me about the team and I found myself talking about Jared and his family and how biking was a big part of life from racing to touring. I realized later that story this resonated well as I was talking to accomplished athletes.

As I left to ride up the canyon I could not loose my train of thought about the PMC. I am still a bit nervous about raising the funds but for some reason I have faith about this too. At the end of my day's ride Chris joined me for the ride back to the car and I had this thought about a recent e-mail about spotting a Kermit member on the cape. I wondered if anyone riding by us at rush hour was wondering who we were as they passed?

Three Little ...

2011-07-20T17:52:00.000-07:00

Today was a fantastic day! I learned more about rockering blades this morning which until now the only one I ever felt comfortable asking was John Dimon which leaves me a long way off that 10,000 hour goal that is needed to be considered knowledgeable. I am not saying that I any closer to reaching that goal, only that I now have a bit more confidence about asking questions. Thanks Ryan!

This afternoon I dropped Chris off near the Holger Zoo to meet Matt and his group for a 2 hour ride. They were riding over to the mouth of Little Cottonwood before turning back so Chris planned to meet me somewhere along Wassatch or even up Mill Creek Canyon as that was where I was headed. It took Ryan's group longer to drop me this week. It was just a few minutes before we made the turn up the canyon. When I arrived they had just started their interval set. Last week they were well into it. I sat for about 15 minutes to let my HR come down a bit (not to mention cool off- it was HOT out there). Then I took off up the canyon- riding just before Heather started her 4th trip up. My plan was to ride until the last one in the bunch reached their 4 minute turn around, but the excitement of being able to breath this time got the better of me and I headed further up the road. I was giddy, the air was considerably cooler, the road flattened out a bit, there seemed to be some cool trails to explore sometime in the next week and then just as I had the end in sight I see what I thought was a LARGE black dog scamper across the road followed by two smaller large black dogs then it hit me these were not LARGE BLACK NEFEE's. Momma and her babies were granted a VERY large berth, meaning I chickened out, turned around, and high-tailed it down the canyon a bit before my goal. I arrived at the meeting point to another surprise, Chris was sitting in the shade waiting for the NT workout to be finished and me to return. On the way back to the car Chris and I got stuck at a light and the team waited for us at the next one, which was so touching. Thanks GUYS! Another ride that makes it hard to think about leaving this place. The mountains offer so many great challenges AND this is one of the most bike friendly cities I have ever spent time in. The car dealer even has loaner bikes!

Tomorrow we have a day off, or at the very least an easy day. Chris and I are off to see the U (again) and check in with admissions about what financial aid might be available to him. Then we are headed to the pool with the girls. I may head out on my own for a ride but if not laps in the pool might be a welcome thought instead.

I leave you with this:

Love the Thunder

2011-07-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

When I left the Subaru dealer it was pouring sheets. The sky was charged. The clouds felt like they were sitting at shoulder height. The world should have stopped but it didn't. There was this woman running to dodge the drops as she crossed in front of me on State Street, her 2 toddlers in tow, a girl about 2 and a boy about 4. The boy turned and flashed me an incredible grin as if he was trying to tell me that he thought this was great (but don't tell his mom). She gave up half way down 1300S, and slowed to a walk despite the increase in the volume of water. On 1300S at that same intersection there was a man sitting on his Harley, tank top, shorts, no helmet and despite the intense conditions no evident body language either. He sat there at the light stoic as if it were a bright and sunny day. Then there was the man in a wheel chair exiting the TRAX station with a companion, he was dancing a happy dance as if he was being baptized while his companion appeared embarrassed and annoyed at being wet.

Storms here are different than they are at home. At home they seem to come to a steady boil before erupting, exploding, destroying...You know they will be bad. Here they come out of nowhere and are like a dry flash in a pan catching whatever energy they can from that initial burst, the clouds dumping their contents at once.

Jordanelle and Ramp Camp

2011-07-17T19:53:00.000-07:00

We had a lazy crazy day today. Chris, the girls and I went to Jordanelle Reservoir to swim, then we headed to the Park Silly Sunday Market once again. After indulging in some shave ice, looking at some crafts and fetching some bread from Megan's killer lasagna we headed to the Olympic Jumping complex to take in some ramp camp. Mac took the video. It was a wonderful day!

SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!

2011-07-16T20:27:00.000-07:00

I admit when I woke up this morning at 6AM heading for an epic 2.5 hour ride with the speedskaters I left the house a bit pissed off. Chris managed to get severely sunburned on his legs yesterday and couldn't muster putting on a pair of bike shorts. His group was working out on their own today and was assigned a 2 hour hike or ride. The plan was for Chris to ride with the group I was with, and then head to the farmers market. When I arrived at the ride start I texted him telling him to get up and go skate a 40K. He didn't get up in time to do that either. Blowing off a workout this morning meant that we would have to figure something else out for later in the day. I stopped worrying about it and went out for my ride. We spent 2.5 hours riding some pretty interesting countryside, by farms, the airport, through typical suburban neighborhoods. Riding by the airport reminded me of Korea, not because of the way things looked, but because of the way they smelled, briney and salty. The HOT air smelled like KIMCHI!

After the ride Rebecca, Eric and I went to the farmers market for lunch and to buy produce. I had the best chicken tacos made with a blue corn tortilla and a green salsa. I also enjoyed some horchata, something I haven't had in ages. A great recovery drink, not too sweet, high in protein, cold...The market idea was perfect, though I did manage to loose 50. out of my jersey pocket. I just hope someone who REALLY needed it found it. Salt Lake City's farmers market reminds me of the one in Park Slope Brooklyn. Its quite large!

I arrived back at the house with lots of stuff, raspberries, lavender, chard, chinese broccoli, kale, turnips, oregano, apricots, garlic, string beans, the best pumpernickel bread I have had in a long time and to Chris asking me if we could go for a hike. So while he made himself a salad for lunch I figured out where to go for a hike. We headed up Little Cottonwood Canyon to Alta. We were planning on heading up to Catherine's pass for starters, but the access road to the campground where the trail started was still not open so we decided to hoof it up to the trail head and decided on the way to alter our plans a bit and we climbed beyond the ski area boundary on a primitive trail. We covered some serious snow pack in places as well as some fast moving run-off crossings. Of course we had a snowball fight, which Chris won with a cheap shot which hit me in the eye (I hope I don't have a shiner in the morning). As we were descending the trail we saw a coyote cut across the trail and through the meadow that was up ahead of us. It was an absolutely gorgeous 2.5 hour solution to Chris's workout predicament. Back at the house we dined on ribs, potatoes, sauteed greens, and pumpernickel served outside on the porch. A perfect ending to a tiring day!

Tomorrow? Jordanelle State Park for a swim with the girls and a search for new tent poles!

A soak in the crater

2011-07-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

So today was a day off for Chris and nothing could be better than a soak in a hot spring. The one we chose was called the crater located at the Homestead resort in Midway. We were originally going to go for a hike up to Diamond Fork but there was some recent postings on Facebook that talked about trail washouts and rattlesnakes and because I didn't know the trail to begin with we decided it would be best to leave it for another time.
After our 40 minute soak we headed into Midway for lunch then came back down to Salt Lake using back roads. We drove around Deer Creek reservior and down through Provo Canyon where we stopped at Bridal Veil falls and dipped our toes in at the base of the falls.
We were back in town by 4:30 or so. Chris decided to take advantage of relaxing for the rest of his day. I however, went out for an hour long ride. Aside from rush hour traffic that was annoying in certain areas, my ride was pleasant. At one point I hoped on the Jordan Parkway and headed toward town. I went about 10 miles before heading back for dinner.

Tomorrow is an early day, 7:30 at Sugar House park (I may ride the 16 miles over there).

Mill Creek Canyon is just one thing...

2011-07-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

The past two days have been information overload and the altitude is still giving me a run for my money. Today we headed out to Mill Creek Canyon by bike, the team and Chris were doing intervals, I was just out for the ride.

My first challenge, that little incline just past the fee station. My heart was in my ears and yes I did stop to take a picture so that my heart rate would come down a bit. The route reminded me of a day on Mt Rest Road only deep within canyon walls and in the shade. It was also much longer and much more peaceful.

The best was several team members encouraged my efforts, Chris made it through the interval set and I left that mountain ride so charged up that I wanted to do it again tomorrow!

We are here...

2011-07-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

So we made it to SLC after a really cool drive through southern Utah, including Moab and Arches National Park where Justin declared that he was in a holey place, in other words all the rocks had big holes in them. On the way up route 6 we ate in this awesome hole in the wall taco shack, and it was easily the best meal we had on our trip west. We had a gorgeous drive through the mountains. Honestly, the snow pack here is more than what is left in the Rockies, beautiful! It has been an incredible journey so far. Yesterday, a rest day for skating, afforded us the time to relax a bit, get settled in and go to a street fair in Park City.

This morning however, dawned early. I had to be at the oval at 7:30 for the morning workout (inline, jump test and dryland). I learned a great deal. Chris had an on your own workout so he went for a 5 mile run a bit later. It was an interesting day. Ryan and the group he works with were really welcoming which was really heartwarming. This afternoon I had hoped to get out for a ride after the day at the oval but the game of bandi did me in (I was so tired and I am still feeling the altitude a bit).

What is bandi? Its basically like floor hockey on ice (no checking). Having a speedskater play a fast game like that on hockey skates helps develop better balance skills as well as affords a fun anaerobic and very explosive workout. Put it this way, I am beat and a bit sore as well.

Chris is well on the way to that pain train he will feel before he leaves here in a few weeks. He says the ice felt a bit awkward, but he was all smiles! (shhh, don't tell him, but what he worked on looked excruciating!)

The highlight of my day was a text from my nephew. He just got his first cell phone and promptly sent me a text to see where I was. I hope his parents were not too upset when I sent him back a text with a picture? Sorry Joe and Claudia, next time I will call him back instead.

Time to call it a night!

Acclimatization

2011-07-08T17:15:00.000-07:00

July 8^th Mesa Verde National Park

We arrived here last night at 8:30 PM, just in time to set up camp without too much darkness, buy some essentials from the camp store and get down to having an impromptu cookout of elk sausages, Ska Brewery Pinstripe Red, and a roaring fire that we were surprised we were allowed to have due to the fire restrictions all over this state.

Our drive down from Denver was actually really pretty. We opted to come south on 285 through the mountains and stop at Great Sand Dunes National Park. I think the thing that impressed us the most is that we could see the dunes across the high plateau we were traveling on for a good 30 miles. Chris took off running up the dunes shortly after arriving, Justin tagged along behind him. It was hot, a good 100 and yet that boy, despite the altitude made it ¾ of the way to the top of the soft sand of Star dune. I on the other hand took a more leisurely approach and climbed at a snails pace, not dealing well with the heat nor the altitude. The number of kids who were snowboarding down the sand intrigued me. They were using old boards that were rubbed down with some sex wax each trip. It was interesting to watch them walk up and slide down choosing a new line or maybe even a new bowl each time. I even saw these two guys go down from the top, which is at least a two-hour hike. When we were ready to call it a day Chris and Justin ran down, which looked precariously scary but really was not.

On our way to Mesa Verde we stopped for a late lunch of huevos rancheros, burritos, and fish tacos topped off with Three Barrel Brewing’s Hop Trash IPA and Black Yak at the Peace of Art café in Del Norde. This was a funky little place with REALLY good food! It set us up for the next 3 hours of driving. We did however stop at an overlook on the other side of Wolf Creek.

I woke up this morning with a full-blown case of altitude sickness. All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and die. My stomach hurt, my head was throbbing and I had been hurling for a good few hours. My only saving grace was Christopher telling me that I had to eat, drink and take a shower. So I feebly forced down two pancakes, a yogurt and some coffee. Within an hour I was able to muster up the strength to go see some of this great park. By mid day, after forcing myself to continue the ritual of drinking and nibbling on small bites I managed to feel much better, just completely wiped out. We spent the day climbing into and out of cliff dwellings which amaze me (and I think the boys too) eventually ending it with treating them both to their first Indian Taco (frybread with pinto chili, cheese, lettuce and tomato) which was prepared at this makeshift taco stand by a local woman from the Ute reservation. It was a welcome treat. Now we are sitting here doing laundry, catching up on electronic stuff and hoping to get into Cortez for some green chili tonight. Tomorrow its off to Arches NP and our final destination Salt Lake. It has been one hell of an adventure so far!

westward expansion

2011-07-06T23:12:00.000-07:00

6PM CST - July 6, 2011 Somewhere in western Kansas (between Salina and Hayes)

I write this while traveling in a hovel which is the back of my new forester, Justin is driving and Chris is in the front seat and we have put 1506.5 miles behind us since we left home yesterday morning at 3AM and we have another 400 miles to travel today alone. We are traveling along Main Street (I- 70) and going by hundreds of miles of farms, wind and cattle that is all we have seen since lunch in Kansas City. In my 6 hours of driving I managed a good sunburn even though the windows and sun-roof were shut and the AC blasting. Our morning started at the St. Louis Arch with a stop in Independence, MO at the Frontier Trail museum and then Gates BBQ before hightailing it further west. (BTW the closest thing to salad at Gates was cole slaw). We hope to make Denver by midnight. This is our grand cross country adventure.

Last night we arrived in Granite City, Illinois at a KOA campground to a bog of levee mud and mosquitoes that made setting up the tent an adventure in itself after a 16 hour drive. We arrived to find our tent poles in bad shape, not sure who checked them before we left...but they should be fired. OK that’s a lie…Too bad I am in mixed company so I cannot comment further. We haven’t had a chance to stop and find new ones today either, so for the next few days I hope my rigging will hold up. We quickly made dinner of ramen and a variety of spices such as seaweed, tamari and chili peppers. We all wish we had an egg. We were so beat after starting off so early with so little sleep. Crawling into a tent was a welcome thing. Sleeping however was an interesting experience, between the freight trains running by the back of our tent every hour and the feral cats choosing last night to start or add to a family, They howled as if there was no tomorrow for a good deal of the night. In any case we were up by 6, showered, packed up and out of there by 7:30. We went off to the Arch and grabbed breakfast at the Mobil Mart before hitting the road for good at 9:30.

So here I am, riding along in the back of the car, 40 miles later and the scenery has not changed much. Just wondering how long it will take to get out of Kansas and remembering that the last time I drove this way I thought the same thing.

It is 11:54 PM MST and I am sitting in a Denver La Quinta. We bailed on camping for the night for a few reasons. Numerous construction projects brought I-70 to a two lane road for MILES meaning that our speed was taken down from 80 to 50 which put a big dent in the time. We hit some VERY... NO, lets make that TERRIFYING weather just as we left Goodman, Kansas which continued for 50 miles. We are talking wind blown sheets of rain and hail that were so sideways that the only way we would be able to tell if there were a tornado is if we hit one dead on (COULD NOT SEE). The lightning was on top of us at times, bright, blinding, felt the electricity inside and out (nostril hair raising even). Stopping felt like it would have been dangerous, and driving was definately so... by the time we got to Limon we were so spent from the adrenaline surge that another hour or so was all we could muster, it was already 10PM. Besides, Justin topped off the gas in and it came to 6.66 gallons, he forced another 1.11 gallons in...that will teach them to make fun of all the Jesus signs they have seen since Ohio. I decided being that tired to start off with, making camp at midnight at 9,000 feet would only cause us serious problems (like no sleep) so Denver was a likely choice, it only tacked on 30 minutes to tomorrow's trip.

After the rain stopped I drove, sunroof open so the boys could see the stars and feel the cool dry air. A fox darted across the highway, Tom Petty, Talking Heads, Bob Seger and the Eagles all made there way onto the only radio station we could fine, a classic radio station out of Denver. We arrived at this new hotel with an elevator wide enough to fit two bikes and us, a room bigger than any 4 star hotel room, impecibly clean...time for a good sleep before we play in the hills.

Getting to the start of the Pan Mass Challenge by way of Salt Lake City

2011-06-29T17:19:00.000-07:00

In a few days I will be embarking on the road trip of a lifetime. I will be driving with my oldest and youngest sons to Salt Lake City to spend just under a month interning with a coach that I consider a mentor while my youngest, Chris trains. I will also be trying to fit in my own training for a ride that will take place on the other side of my trip, The Pan Mass Challenge. In August, I will travel back east, foregoing home, to start my 192 mile pedal across the state of MA. This road trip to Sturbridge, Ma will be 5 weeks long and cover many miles at all kinds of altitudes and interesting scenery. The anticipation is, well, a bit overwhelming.

We will be kicking off our trip with a going away party of sorts. A New England Supper (fish chowder, baked beans, hot dogs, a slew of salads and some killer deserts like my dear friend Chris's ice box cake. Chris is a RI native living in Dennison, TX and I know he would be here helping me pull this off if he were here, only we would probably be having a lobster bake on a beach in RI instead. We will also have a 50/50, some door raffle prizes, as well as an auction of my latest work. Here is a sampling:

100% of what we take in at this party will benefit the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, specifically the Sunflowers For Life Fund at the Jimmy Fund. This is a fund dedicated to research and support of Pediatric Brain and Spinal cancers. Regular readers of this blog often here me speak of a dear artist friend named Steve. This fund was set up by his family as a memorial to their son/brother Jared who lost his battle against spinal cancer on September 27, 2005. I am riding in honor/memory of Jared, and Jimmy, and my cousin Mark, who lost his own battle with brain cancer a few years ago, leaving a young daughter behind. I am also riding because I have witnessed first hand how awesome a place Dana Farber is this spring, when my mom was treated for lung cancer. Its a cutting edge, progressive, treat the whole patient (which includes the family) place.

If you are around on July 1st at 7PM come join us at the lake from 7-11!
(LAKE PURDY's CLUBHOUSE, PURDYS, NY 10578)
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We are asking for a minimum donation of 20/person or 50/family payable to the PMC.
Feel free to contribute to the food or raffle prizes if you'd like. It will be a great way to start off your JULY 4th weekend!

I went out for a ride today after Chris and I spent the morning running around gathering a few items for out journey. We even found a new Farmers Market today, which is much bigger than the one we usually frequent and only another 4 miles down the road. I won't travel more than 15 miles (or what I feel comfortable pedaling home with produce on my back) for a farmers market, and this one fits that criteria. I also waited for him to finish his first conference call with US Speedskating so we could talk while what he heard was fresh. I left the house at 4PM taking a route I haven't taken in a long while. I think its because it has a really annoying climb on it that is just over a mile long on a really busy road with a crappy shoulder. I forgot how much I really like this 23 mile route. It has a good deal of up and down, though something tells me I have not seen anything yet, and it is pretty. Its funny though, a good deal (1/3) of this route is travel on the North County Trailway and while its nice to get off the road, it is also too predictable and the coach in me would compare it to using machines in the gym instead of opting for the free-weights. In other words I have a bit of a guilt trip going whenever I opt for the ride through the park. HOWEVER, when its not crowded, like today, it allows me to complete some long intervals. I ride to the corner of 35/100 and from there I complete the 4 mile TT route set by TNT then I pedal another 2 miles to the path and bolt again for another 3 miles I cross Hanover and 35/202/118 and bolt 2 miles to Granite Springs Rd...I keep this sprint relax thing going until about 2 miles from home, which leaves me time to cool down a bit before climbing the monster of a hill we decided to perch our house on.
<a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/39341178">A ride mapped on 06/29/2011</a> <a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/?location=NY, United States">Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in NY, United States</a>

Here are a few pics as well: ( I included my dinner shots too- Chris and I went to the farmers market today and got the bread from Whole G (a German bakery in New Haven, Ct). It is a triangular loaf of whole rye. I enjoyed a slice with tuna and organic tuscan kale (from Taliaferro Farms in New Paltz, NY)

HOPE TO SEE YOU AT THE LAKE!

No one can make you happy or angry...

2011-06-28T15:36:00.000-07:00

Redhead Riter tweets "No one can make you happy or angry. Only you are in control of those emotions" I am instantly drawn to something I read yesterday about peri-menopausal mood swings (which for some is like PMS on steroids) or even MADNESS. Yes, I was doing some investigative reporting as to why I was falling apart over a stupid trailer hitch. Apparently, according to this one article I read, the reason why some women suffer mood swings is because they were overly sensitive to begin with and that they should just learn to suck it up. To go on, it stated that middle-aged women are out of touch or not accepting of their own feelings about being an old woman. If they just learned to deal with that...HAH that had to be something a MAN wrote! Mess with his testosterone levels, oh wait a minute...I bet you the guy that wrote that couldn't deal with his own drop in hormone levels, balding head (sorry Kenny) and lust for those pretty young thangs. OK, I will play nice, after all as the Redhead said I am the one in control of my emotions. (tehehe)

We have this copy of Notes and Lectures on the American Practice of Medicine, which is basically a physicians desk reference from 1855, and the last bit of text in that book deals with HYSTERIA. One of the treatments was tonics of quinine every 6 hours. I'll take mine with some plymouths or heck even beefeaters will do. Skip the tonic, don't need all that sugar anyway. (OH, I feel happy already)

Getting older is something I accept whole-heartedly. I have found ways to deal with some of the symptoms of this excruciatingly slow and agonizing process of loosing my ability to contribute another life to this planet. Quite frankly, after contributing four wonderful beings to the population tally I think I have done enough in that department. I just hate the memory and focus issues. I think its mostly because I am so on the fly on all of the time that I hate the thought of making lists. Besides if I can't keep track of my thoughts how the hell am I going to keep track of that piece of paper? Back when Justin was an only child I remember watching someone dear to me look for her glasses for 4 days straight when she was about my age, they were on her head the whole time. Sadly, despite not understanding that then, I can relate to it now.

I now know that when I spend the evening dancing and jumping around like a toddler, I wake up feeling like my insides are about to drop to my knees! This morning, my back really hurts. My mood however, is so much better, like that of a 20 year old, but then again my back is screaming TAKE something and take it NOW. I am actually contemplating running my errands in this heat with the seat heater on (I did it didn't work). I give up. Its happened. I guess I am an OLD WOMAN ... complete with all the interference. I even forgot to go to the post- office and home depot despite being by both of those places.

Back trauma or not, LAST NIGHT WAS WAY COOL! Kenny bought those tickets as a 24th anniversary present over a month ago, it was well worth the wait. As we were leaving the park he said happy anniversary to me. This couple in front of us caught wind of it and were so interested in the whole concept of concert tickets for an anniversary present. They wanted to know how many years, and wished us a happy anniversary. I have to admit it was one of the best presents. (XOXO)

I was so glad to see my friend Melanie too. Melanie YOU better call me when something this wonderful comes along!

TOTALLY HAPPY!

Tangents

2011-06-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

My day started with the annoying (although very cute) cat launching stuff off my night stand trying to make sure that I wasn't late for work. She is such an effective alarm clock that knows the M-F routine, but she not great at keeping school calendars. My first day off in 10 months where I had planned to sleep in, could have slept in, wanted to sleep in and I had stuff flying at my head at 6:45. At least she was patient enough to give me that extra 1.5 hours. Did she panic? She didn't want to go outside. In anycase, I am one of those sleepers that can't go back to sleep once I am up, nor can I nap during the day. With all bets off I ambled upstairs and sat there like the vegetable I felt like for a good 30 minutes before moving. I eventually had the pleasure of Chris making me coffee before he raided the fridge to pack lunch for him and his beach buddies. They spontaneously decided at 6:30 AM to go to Jones Beach. I have to admit it was a great day and as my day played out I wish I had thought of that.

I got around to reading my e-mails, blogs and other techno-garble. Kelly's post this morning got me thinking about my own stupid INbox, my house, the EVEREST of laundry, the half packed pile of gear, the list of things that are a must and I started to get flustered, cold hard sweat actually. My sorry, fly- by-the -seat of my pants self had a reality check moment. YIKES I have SO much to do.

First things first, the bike rack. You see, I had all my ducks in a row for the past couple of weeks. I have been gathering the essentials and with the new car, the Bones rack was not going to cut it, I had nothing to lock it to. Not that I felt someone would actually STEAL the rack of the car but with 7K worth of ride on that back who wants to take that chance. To remedy my situation I decided to forgo the original 250. for a hitch installation and opt for the do-it your damn self version, afterall we are paying a boat-load of money for our son to be a mechanic right? I ordered the hitch and the rack from E-trailer with expedited shipping the day after I picked up the car from the dealer. The hitch and rack came 3 days later, YAY. Then while I was out for a ride, so I couldn't watch the suspenseful install of the hitch, my wonderful son Mikey lays out all his tools, goes and buys the few he doesn't have and proceeds to get ready to install the rack. He unpacks the box, takes out the directions, reads them, supports the exhaust, lowers the mufflers, removes the plugs, drills the holes only to find out that there a parts missing. OK, I know he should have laid them all out first, but hey, you have done things that way too I am sure. I mean who expects that? So I call the company and they assure me that the parts will be shipped by Monday which is today. Mikey will not be available this week to finish this so we are off to plan B. Can Cap City install a hitch for us that we supply? Of course, but they need the original hardware. I have an appointment for Thursday. I call e-trailer (remember them) to ask them to EXPEDITE the shipping, hah...3 hours and 3 people later I finally find out they haven't even shipped it yet? What? Really? All this for a stupid bag of bolts, shims, and other stuff that should have been there in the first place. I paid for express shipping to begin with and then I get the brush off when it comes to customer service for missing parts? NOTE TO SELF, don't order from them again! Finally, someone listened. Maybe it was the post on FB? Maybe someone caught the mention? Maybe it was my e-mail to the company? Something happened that seemed to get things moving. I should have it Wednesday. I HOPE? If not, I will buy a new hitch from cap city and return this one.

In this time frame I conquered most of Everest, until I ran out of detergent and patience. Why do boys have to be so STINKY? I know they should be doing their own laundry, and honestly, they do help with that most of the time, but hey, I was home. Now my bed looks like the desert of southern Utah, hopefully someone else will take care of moving those pillars before I actually lay my head down tonight?

I cleaned other things too, I was on a roll, aggravated, tired (which I didn't fully realize until Jon sent me a note that said LSD and all I could conjure up were images of Timothy Leary instead of the long steady distance he was referring to) Maybe my workout yesterday was trying to tell me something? I have procrastinated all day. Then Kelly tweets about this blog and I am hysterical laughing. How is it that someone yo don't know at all can peg your current sentiments about life, unwittingly of course. In anycase the laughter did me some good. I was in full meltdown with Kenny on the phone over a stupid trailer hitch. It was 2PM, I hadn't showered, I hadn't ridden, I hadn't really eaten (unless you count a salad for breakfast), I was cranky, ...so my day escaped me? From the other side of this equation, the laundry got done and 2 bathrooms got cleaned, the dishes got washed, my ceramics syllabus for next year got completed and I managed to organize some of my gear for the trip. All that was left was to head out to the concert. Thats if we can figure out where we put the stupid tickets!

Kenny and I get to The Ives Center fairly early, find a spot on the lawn for the time being, our seats were in the sun. We sat under this tree people watching, sharing a bottle of wine, and listening to the opening act, an indie band called Bronze Radio Return. I have heard them before and actually like them. Kenny? Lets just say the jury is still out. We decided to take our seats just as Grace Potter took the stage. We are on the isle, but there is this guy next to me who is skinnier then Kenny taking up both his own and half of my seat. Kenny and I move our chairs over a bit (we were almost out in the isle) and the guy takes up even more space. He was so annoying. He had a really nice DSLR and was using the room between the head in front of the two of us to get clear shots of the stage. When we made more room he used it for more shooting space. Kenny and I spotted Alani taking pictures along the isle. I followed her back to say hello to Melanie (her mom/myfriend) who was standing just behind the handicap accessible area. We hung out talking for a bit then spent the next two hours dancing non stop. Grace Potter was great, not her usual club blasting self, but still enjoyable. The show stopper however was Michael Franti. He is definitely a MUST SEE in an outdoor venue. Dances with audience? In this case he was even out of the reserved seating and on the lawn on more than one occasion. Not much more to say other than we had a blast!

I just wasn't into it

2011-06-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

My workout yesterday was one I really looked forward to: ride, dryalnd, ride but for some reason after getting off the bike at the Quinnipiac fields and delving into that first set of low-walks I realized I was not feeling it. Maybe I just needed to be persistent? By the 5 set of low walks my body was in pain but not that welcome burn I was expecting. It was more of a tightness almost as if my muscles refused to stretch THAT WAY at that moment. I wasn't overly sore from the day before. I wasn't winded or tired. I just wasn't feeling it. On to the next exercise, 5 sets of a static medley, and the next a turnstep medley, same thing, nothing in them legs. Geez, screw it! I decided to blow off the rest of this part of my day even abs didn't work out so well. So I waited for Chris to finish up his work. It was actually fun to pay attention to him without interfering in his work. We eventually said our goodbyes, hoped on the bike and were off and riding. Chris even drove home.

Off on the bike soon. Concert tonight at the Ives Center! Michael Franti and Grace Potter.

What a rabid raccoon does for the adrenaline rush

2011-06-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

I decided to amble on my bike today. I had this area in mind I wanted to explore. I wanted to stay out until I was tired. I wanted to get lost. I headed out towards Ridgefield, CT with circling Lake Mamanasco my first order of business. My former colleague lives on that lake and I never knew it was there until I drove him home the other day. I wanted to ride around it on a bike to get a feel for the neighborhood. His house is for sale btw.
After exploring this lake I went by Seth Low Pierrepont State Park. I eventually found myself on the Danbury North Salem line, and climbing a stupid hill that rivaled HILLTOP and hurt just as much. Funny thing, right before getting to the Hilltop turn off I ran into, and got chased by, a rabid raccoon. I didn't see him sitting on the edge of the road. It was the raised back, hissing and growling that got me to notice. He lunged for me just as I turned to avoid him. I almost fell. I stopped a safe distance away, called 911 and reported his presence as he staggered into a yard that had obvious signs of children living there. I went on my way to find a deer watching me from a ridge on the other side of the road. As hilltop approached my adrenaline was surging from that encounter and I almost made that decision to climb. I was only a few miles in and I did not want to expend everything I had just yet. So on I went. I think I had a senior moment when I turned up Ridgebury road though. I knew there was a hill that rivaled the steepest ones around here. I have ridden down that sucker more times than I could count. There is a Revolutionary War battlefield at the top. Chris and I learned about this a few years ago when my friend Deej (A history teacher) showed this and a bunch of other historic places as we traced the route of the British Raiders from Compo Beach to Danbury. I wanted to see this place again. I think it was just a destination that was not my normal route. I was fleeing the boredom of training alone. Remember, I said I was ambling, I was turning on roads I had not really ever been on when I could but staying with the familiar at times too. I did stop to check my GPS once when I had this fear that Chestnut Hill road was dropping me back into the valley I just came out of and I didn't want a double wall in 30 minute day. After coming out on Dingle Ridge I made the turn for home as the sky was looking kind of ominous. I had the pleasure of having a woman in a car push me into a deep pothole on Dingle Ridge in front of the entrance to 121. As I felt myself about to be launched over my handlebars my instinct told me to relax ( I also had an audience and was afraid I would kill the guy standing there if I actually did go end over end, his best chance was my body being relaxed). This SAVED me. I managed to escape but the handle bar slammed my collar bone pretty hard on my right side (that is going to leave a mark). I managed to stay upright so I didn't need to get off the bike. The guy made some interesting sound effects (think Most Extreme Elimination) The driver of course became more nervous and now really refused to go around me, even at the stop sign that was 50 ft from the pothole. I waited there a good 3 minutes waving her on before deciding that we might be there all day. I made the left onto 121 and when I turned right onto Bloomer Road she was still riding my rear wheel (as if I was pulling a damn paceline). She eventually went by me around the golf course, not that my waving really helped. The rest of my ride was kind of uneventful and I made it home just as the rain started which was a bonus. I have embeded the 26.4 mile route stats- check it out by clicking on the tabs. Onward and upward (I will ride this again but I will include Hilltop and All View, maybe even Brewster Hill just to add to the pain). Tomorrow? Chris and I hit the Farmington Canal for a 10 mile pedal to a 2 hour dryland workout before heading the 10 miles back to the car.
 <a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/38822348">A ride mapped on 06/25/2011</a> <a href="http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/?location=NY, United States">Find more Cycling Routes / Bike Rides in NY, United States</a>

give her a new toy and smiles all around

2011-06-20T18:53:00.000-07:00

There was some question about my road bike and whether it would be ready to ride by last weekend. Thursday came and went, Tim informed me that he was having trouble getting a 10 speed Ultegra 12x25 Cassette because its a Japanese company. I was a wreck!!! Friday I got the call, but at that point I had decided that it was more important to make plans to work out with company than hoping that my road bike was done. Alison and I decided to ride the ridge, despite her not ever riding off road or even owning a mtn bike. After we made plans, we both furiously looked for a ride. I found a few, but Tim offered me the shop loaner so I took it. Saturday morning I headed to the ridge with 2 bikes on the rack, the sunroof and windows open and the tunes cranked. It was a beautiful day!
We just made it into the park in time to get a spot up top. We were off and riding in no time. At first there was the cautious I cannot believe how much of a workout this is, this lasted all of about 10 minutes. When we hit the first puddle and it was all over and forget about the views or the hawks buzzing the cliffs that just added to it, Alison was hooked! She hadn't ridden like that since she was a kid!

Yesterday? We did a family workout in Hamden. CT. A dryland workout that is resonating with all three of us today (Chris, Kenny and I). It HURT. Afterwards we headed to Griff's Chicken Shack for dinner. So much for working out (jumbalya, chicken fingers, fries) but hey it was father's day and Kenny was with us.

Needless to say, today I was sore. I went out for an easy spin with Chris. We concentrated on low gears and high leg speeds, trying beyond reason to flush the junk from our legs. It was nice to get out with him for a change. It was also endearing to have him coach me through dryland yesterday in front of the rest of the club.

Don't forget July 1 is our fundraiser for the PMC. It will be held at the clubhouse at 7PM.

Today Caroline (a neighbor) left a stuffed Kermit on my front stoop. I offered to trade her a cup for the stuffed animal, she declined. I am so thankful for the support. Thank you Caroline!

Thanks about all for now other than getting ready to drive west. See you all soon!

DRYLAND?

2011-06-16T16:17:00.000-07:00

I somehow convinced myself after Tuesday's run and last night's dryland that I would love to get back into the rhythm of my former, couldn't keep weight on, nothing white, no sugar, no alcohol (only after a really long 80 plus mile ride) type of summer. I wanted to get back into the be addicted to working out place I was 5 years ago. Then today hit, after a restless night from overdoing the dryland and the road bike not being ready because of the lack of parts (anywhere), I feel like I am behind on training, and the fact that I am in deep for this ride (I have so much fundraising to do that doesn't seem to be happening) and I am freaked out about it all. Near tears actually. At least I had enough sense to know that some of this is signs of over doing it this week in terms of workouts and I did take a rest day, but still, I am feeling like Karma is playing a trick on me. I guess tomorrow is a new day? Hopefully then my bike will be done?

I can breath...

2011-06-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

I spent the last three weeks thinking the worst. It started when I inhaled some food. The discharge instructions I got that night were to make a follow up appointment if I didn't feel better in 5 days unless that is we call you. Well, they called, and called, and called...then when I finally made an appointment and had to change it I got an earful about how my health was much more important than a meeting. There was some concern over some nodules that I knew I had. It appeared that they had changed. WHOA, really 3 days will make a difference? I was speechlessly nervous, beyond words actually, couldn't talk about it but resolved that if it was anything I would go see my mom's doctors at Dana Farber. Having a plan of action calmed me down enough to exist.
I got there on Friday, fearing the worst. I was told when I made the appointment to expect to have it take most of the day for testing. My BP was up, my wheezing from allergies was bad, I had hives too. I was the last in the waiting room to arrive an the first to be seen. Were they that concerned?
My mom and my friend Pete were at home sitting vigil. I wouldn't let anyone join me, so Kenny, despite not wanting to, went to work. Everyone was on edge. Planning on how to offer support if needed. Then it happened. I see the doctor and before he listens to my chest, he is confused. Why am I there? He is thinking maybe whatever I inhaled a few weeks prior is causing an infection because I am wheezing and my O2 level was down a bit from normal. As soon as we discuss my cat scans, he understands that most of my wheezing is being caused by stress as it suddenly dissipates, my face looks less stressed, and my color returns . The nodules have not changed, there is no real need for me to be there otherwise. The message he had left his staff was exactly that, call her and tell her that everything is fine, no need for concern. So I spent 3 weeks of my life freaking out over a secretarial mistake. Imagine if I had a heart condition?

THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS THAT I AM FINE!!!

The rest of the day was spent with my mom and Pete. We went for Pizza then to the lake. We got nostalgic. We talked about changes to the neighborhood, the things we used to do as kids, the ice cream man, the docks, the stupid pranks. We talked about Maine, my trip to SLC, and ideas for fundraising for the PMC. We watched a kid pull a bull frog out of the reeds, the biggest frog I have seen in awhile (wish I had taken that picture). It was the size of an 8 year old boy's forearm and took two hands to grasp. He was beautiful and the kids marveling at him were even more incredible, they were careful with him and eventually released him when they were done studying him. Remember what it was like to be a kid and interact with some form of wild-life like a frog, a toad, a crab, tadpoles, salamanders, or even the occasional baby bird? Shortly afterwards Pete and I went to pick Kenny up from the train station, Chris was driving. He stopped to let a turtle cross the road. I got out to make sure the turtle got off the road completely and realized they can run, fast. On the way back up the turtle was still trying to make its way through a fence and was headed back into the road. I got out again and took him to a break in the fence to release him into the underbrush, he launched himself immediately upon contact with the ground. A very satisfying moment.

What about training?

I finally got my bike to Tim yesterday. It needs a new drive train; chain rings, cassette and chain. I had apparently ridden a bunch more than I had thought I had. I usually pay attention to my mileage and have a good idea about when I need to do those overhauls. I lost track this time. Oh well, better fixing it here instead of a few weeks from now when I am out west. So I have been out on my mountain bike for the past week. Today I took it out on one of my normal road rides, and quite honestly with the 29" tires I could ride almost as fast BUT I felt like I was pulling a cement filled truck tire behind me especially when climbing. I saw plenty of interesting things this morning too, an oriole, a bluebird, a few turkey vultures doing what turkey vultures do, a slew of deer, a flock of swans who spit at me for stopping to take a picture. I also spooked to horses despite being cautious about coming up on them. Thank God the event didn't toss their riders. I saw a woman with two dogs who couldn't understand why I was out on the road with a ride suited for the woods? Come to think about it, I think I am asking myself the same thing? As for riding in the woods, after the last beating I think I don't want to ride single-track alone anymore. I am getting too gutsy for my own ability because I have this desire to improve my skills. I think the technical stuff should be done with company, just in case.

I really can't wait to get my road bike back though. I lent my spare to a kid who has the courage to ride the PMC as a teenager. This morning I was debating that Karma decision as I worked twice as hard to go half as far. I hope her training is going well. I hope she is enjoying the ride and taking notice of the many cool things along the way.

Song that has been running through my head as I ride lately:

Until next time!

I just spent an hour...

2011-06-07T19:49:00.000-07:00

I have to keep reminding my self that its OK to feel what I feel sometimes, mountainous exhaustion. I am after all an artist, a wife, the mother of four kids, and a HS art teacher that is desperately in need a better sense of humor, or maybe just for the year to come crashing to an abrupt halt so I can be done with teenage angst for a few minutes. Oh wait, I still have one of those at home. He is 17 going on that age just before nesting sets in, the listen to everything loud, except me of course, stay up too late and have momentary lapses of the pre-frontal cortex kind of thing, all of this despite having an intense desire (and focus) to make it as a speedskater. To think I have to ride across country with him this summer. This rant was spun out of my desire to work out as hard as he does, and being jealous of my lack of time and energy.

My day started at 5 AM with a mountain of tasks to accomplish before 2:05, my first thoughts this morning were if I just had an hour:

* an hour to work on an article that I have been working on for weeks now. Its just not quite right yet. It needs more substance and less bourbon.

* an hour to grade student work uninterrupted by plastic crisis', gossip, or even some other administrative task.

* an hour to prepare annual reports for a meeting that is happening directly after school.

* an hour in my studio without my head getting in the way.

* an hour to sit and plan my trip to SLC. OK, this might need more than an hour, but a good honest uninterrupted sixty minutes might actually help get things going. I need to find hockey skates, a 60 CM road bike, and figure out how to pack my cycling gear for the PMC so that I don't need to stop home in August before going to MA.

* an hour to figure out just how I am going to raise all that money for the PMC? YIKES!!!

* an hour to procrastinate about working out so that I can still get in as much as I had planned on.

* an hour to just sit and talk to my kids, or Kenny, or my mom, or Kelly, or Alison, or Pete for that matter, no phones, no texting, no electronics, no distractions.

* how about an hour to just sit, though I am not sure I can do that, or if I ever have done that?

I budgeted an hour for a meeting after school. It took two. I had budgeted 2 hours on the bike and took only one. How did that happen?

In that hour on the bike I contemplated big life questions such as my recent love affair with the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Fridays at the Met are intoxicating, for some literally. The people that go to the museum at night are different than the people who make their way through by day. It is almost as if its a who's who want to be seen kind of thing. There is live music and what seems to be a happy hour of sorts in a variety of corners of the place, the young professional wanna be jet-setters on the roof, while the actual jet setters are in the restaurant listening to live chamber music, then there is the quieter wine bar crowd, who seem to be there to enjoy a light dinner out while in the midst of visual overload, this is truly a contemplative crowd. It made me wonder in that cavernous place, just how many artist's lives were being changed forever, how many were there just to say they did something slightly intellectual, and how many were there to people watch. How much BS was dished out about aesthetics for that matter? And, just what was going on on the other side of the museum, in the Egyptian wing while I was in the Greek wing, not digging for headlines here just wondering, was there someone like me, a kid in a candy store re-discovering why I am an artist again and again as if it were the first time tasting some sweet heavenly morsel. And? Was there someone like me, wondering why the Alexander McQueen show was as popular as the Gates were? Yes, it was a great show, but do that many people really know what the significance of the collection is? Will it ever be quiet enough to view and contemplate rather than try to crane over the woman in the Manolo Blahniks's that despite being able to afford a McQueen, doesn't understand the aesthetic quality because she is just trying to keep up with her neighbors, the Jones' who just happen to had a personal invite from McQueen to dinner.

In that hour I thought about how my road bike is acting up. All the things it could be. All the things I hope it is not. I can't afford to hemorrhage more cash or the time to get it up to Tim to fix it?

In that hour I thought about what I was going to write about and if it all would make sense. I also forgot about what I was going to write about so now none of it makes sense.

In that hour I thought about nothing too. I took a mental break, which is why I love riding so much. In that hour I was in heaven just meditating.

2011-06-05T17:17:00.000-07:00

A picture of the last week:

SHARE the PATH?

2011-06-05T14:52:00.000-07:00

I have been neglecting my blog lately. I think I have had 14 hour days 4-5 days a week for the last 2 months and trying to write as well as work as well as train has been incredibly mind boggling. Sometimes training has been left by the wayside to get other stuff done or because I am too damn tired or stressed. Don't get me wrong I have been able to meet the 4 days a week on the bike rule, just feel like I am a bit behind where I should be. OK, that is the end of my whining.

So what has been up lately? After my meet up ride on the mtn bike I basically had to take a week off, I looked like I had stood on a turntable point blank in front of a pitching machine set at 100 mph. I was covered in hematomas that made riding a bit too uncomfortable. I was itching to get out there though.

In that time Kenny and I headed to the Blue Ridge to see Anna and my oldest friend Joanne and her husband Mark. I find it kind of interesting that my daughter is living about 35 miles from them. When she was little (about 4) she used to tell me that she was going to live in Va near Sammy (J and M's youngest son). She loved that area. We had a great time. One thing we got to do is relax, a lot! We mostly stayed about the house in Piney River but took a side trip to Roanoke to see Joanne's sisters and their family then there was that one special trip to see Kevin Crowe at Tye River Pottery . Kevin was having an open studio sale last weekend. The funny thing is that he is good friends with my friend Joanne but he is also great friends with my friend Steve. Joanne has never met Steve and yes its one of those really small world phenomena that you always hear about (6 degrees of separation, however in this case I feel like its 2). I bought a teapot and came home envious of this elusive form, but that is another story.

I also had an interesting visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art this week. I love Friday nights. They are open until 9. This time I met Arnie there. We went to the Alexander McQueen show, which of course was way to crowded to enjoy, then meandered into the Richard Serra show, and spent a great deal of time contemplating the work. We then headed to the roof in search of seeing Anthony Caro's work and a drink. The roof was so crowded, like it was the new hotspot to meet after work. We bailed to the wine bar, sat and drank martini's while we discussed art and influences. I was glued to my seat as he indulged me in his adventures as a young clay artist. He worked as an apprentice at 17 for Phylis Hammond, a local sculptor and he also headed to England to find a pottery to work in before going off to art school. What an incredibly inspiring gap year. We eventually went off in search of a burger before heading home. I really love hanging out with Arnie. He motivates me to work. Watch soon for a feature article.

This past week, I rode a bit, but the one ride I would really like to elaborate on was the ride I took on Thursday. I had a headache all day, migraine in fact. It was one of those really long days too. At 5PM I was still at school but I had enjoyed a conversation with a colleagues daughter who is currently training for the Lake Placid Ironman. We talked riding, and hill training, and KEELER. Keeler is this road that is between North Salem and Ridgefield, CT that has this incredible pitch, similar to one of the climbs in the high peaks just not as long. It was a place that Bud and I used to ride until the pain would eat us up and then go back for more. I remember this one time when I came up with this killer hill training route, 45 miles with a serious climb (longer than a mile, steeper than 12%, with pitches of 18%) every 2. When we went to test it out, we rode up this driveway to look at the view. I was so nervous we would be caught that I didn't enjoy it. Then, to turn the tables, a week later we rode to New Paltz just so I could return the favor. We caught it on top of Mountain Crest Road heading down towards Accord. Wow, I was pining to be in that kind of shape again and to ride that route, or at least a good part of it. At 6PM I headed out, pumped to at least try some of those climbs, first one, Bogtown, then Delancey, then Guinnea, but I left Keeler Lane for another time. I knew I wasn't ready for that one. I returned home 25 miles later with my headache gone and my resolve renewed. I marveled at how I could still climb despite being close to 50 lbs heavier than I was when I was riding with Bud. The intriguing thing, they didn't hurt as much as I thought they would. I remembered a time, when I first started to get back into riding, 18 years ago, when Pete and I would escape the world. I couldn't ride up any of these hills. I had to get off and walk 1/2 way up. There is something to be said for muscle memory.

It was with this thought that I left my house this morning. I wanted to see just what I had in me, so I went off to find 2 things, some hills and some unseen territory. I found myself meandering along Star Ridge, then I thought about Brewster Hill Road, another climb that used to kill me. I headed in that direction and came to a fork in the road...hmm...Tonetta Lake Rd...which way should I go? Up Brewster Hill? Around the hill, which is still up, just not as long? I took left at the fork onto Tonetta Lake Rd. and as I started to climb, there was this building with a sign on it which read Breath... How ironic. How inspiring. How incredibly motivating. As I rode along I was finding myself so happy to be out there training. After about 35 miles I made the turn for home, down the path where I expected to encounter some cyclists and walkers with no trail etiquette, after all, it was a bright sunny Sunday. Usually this is random groups of families that really don't understand that a trail is like a roadway. Quite honestly though this is a great place to get kids used to riding longer distances as well as have quality family time. I usually just chalk up all the dodge or burn maneuvers to normal expectations on a bike path. Today however was a different story, it was the day that the I Challenge Myself Century was taking place. This group's leaders, not the riders, got me so flustered that I had to come home and figure out who they were and why they chose a bike path to ride 100 miles. The thing is, that this was a group of about 40 riders, and the coaches with them were really loud, barking out orders, obstacles and motivation as if they were trying to scream them to someone standing on the other side of 57th Street during the height of rush hour. Geez, didn't they know we were in the woods and in a park where maybe people were trying to get away from the stresses of the world? They were behind me for a long time, a good football field and a half between us most of the time, longer at some points. They were so loud that I was having trouble focusing on my workout so I decided to slow down and let them pass me. This took a good 15 minutes of forever. The issue with them was that they would come up on people and rather than have the decency to let the people know they were coming they would just point them out to the group as if they were debris in the road. The group would then pass at a very methodical pace. As they came by me, I hear there is a bike on the right. I mentioned to the announcing ride leader that the proper way to pass someone was to give them the courtesy of letting them know that they were passing on the left first and then to let the group know the rider of walker was there. He said excuse me you are correct, then passed two girls walking within the next 50 feet by letting his group know that there were walkers ahead. No warning to those girls, who were so startled and not to mention afraid to move that they stepped off the path and waited for the long line to pass (imagine how a little kid who is new to riding would respond? My heart is in my throat thinking about it). This was also a group that would fly through intersections 50 deep yelling clear. Some of the intersections on the trailway are really blind and cars seem to forget that there might be bikes crossing. Why am I mentioning this? I guess the parent, teacher and coach in me sees the welfare and safety issues that arose in that few miles of nerve-wracking company and only hoped that those kids would learn better if they continued to ride. You see, there are places that locals won't ride on the weekends here. Mostly because rude riders like this have created such a BAD name for cyclists that it has become dangerous and costly (try doing a track stand in Peirmont, Alpine, Bedford, Westport, or Ridgefield at a stop sign or light in front of a cop and see how much it costs you for not putting your foot down and coming to a complete stop). I hope those kids made it home without getting hit! I hope their coaches read this! CONGRATS to the kids though RIDING 100 MILES is an ACCOMPLISHMENT!!!
So how did my ride end? 45 miles and then a mechanical in which I had no middle chain ring. I bailed 7 miles from home as the issue continued to worsen. So, its the mountain tank for the rest of the week until I get up to see Tim, maybe I will even brave the woods with it again.
Pedaling onward and upward! (pics to follow)

UNCLE...UNCLE...UNCLE...

2011-05-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

I got my BUTT kicked tonight and I only managed a few piddley miles. It all started the other day when I was bored and decided to take Tim's advice and look up meetup.com to find people to ride with. I found this group in Stamford, CT which had me interested because it meant that I could possibly find people to ride with after work. Tonight was one of those nights. I went Mtn Biking in Mianus River Park in Stamford.

No one from hosting bike shop that was supposed to show up did because it was apparently too muddy, but this one guy Damian, a local chiropractor, and I arrived ready to ride. The issue here was that Damian was an experienced Mtn Biker. I, on the other hand was so far out of my league it was not funny, despite being out numerous times. We decided to ride anyway. He was gracious enough to give me a what amounted to an incredible lesson and trash his own workout. (what a cool guy!)

Tally:

We spotted a lady slipper in bloom which is a rare find.

I learned some things about exercise physiology for the master athlete that I did not previously know. (As you age the endorphins decrease so the sensation of pain increases making falls have a negative physiological and psychological response which in turn produces the fear) I LOVE LEARNING - oh yeah I guess that is why I am a teacher.

2 falls that included one ripped pair of shorts, lots of scrapes, bruises that make me look like I have been abused, and a very tender shoulder and elbow.

A very mud encrusted bike (looks like it spent a year in my studio) and a mud encrusted body.

A huge SMILE at the end - I finally navigated a piece of the trail that scared the shit out of me otherwise

I am out there again - SOON! Really soon, like Jon and Steve I might focus on this for awhile...and after the PMC this is a hard core definite!

I arrived home to tickets for Grace Potter and Michael Franti at Charles Ives in June (anniversary present). Kenny and I went to dinner at Lefteris in Mt Kisco where we split a meal. I posted a picture because three or four could have been happy with the amount. Matter of fact, Chris and Justin helped by eating only PART of the leftovers when we got home. Maybe it was enough for five or six.

On a side note, can anyone tell me about the integrated weight loss program at Kirpalu?

Lady Slipper in bloom.

The Cave at Mianus- If I remember right the park is supposedly haunted and it all revolves around this cave. I will be looking into this. First I have to figure out where I heard this!

Dinner picture It was so big I couldn't fit the HUGE SALAD in the shot

On a closing note- Damian that last picture I took of that tree-fall duck is not on my camera which means I HAVE TO RIDE THERE AGAIN and its not even Wednesday yet!

Ever feel like you are frozen in suspended animation?

2011-05-23T18:07:00.000-07:00

I have been scheduled so tightly that I feel like I am in one of those Star Wars garbage compactors stuck in suspended animation, frozen, unable to change my predicament or move for that matter. For the fourth week in a row I am stuck doing something almost every day of the week after school. When is this going to end?

I am looking forward to tomorrow. I am headed out via Mtn Bike to Mianus River Gorge after work. I have joined a cycling group through meet-up and I am looking forward to making a fool of myself riding the stumps for a change.

This week also sees me shipping work off to Watershed and Chris. Finishing tiles for Hanna's garden. Creating a bunch of new work and writing/re-writing an article that was finished last week but lost in a weird twist of flash drive fate. Riding will be in the dark quite a bit this week I think.

TG for VA with Joanne and Mark this weekend!!! Maybe I can relax!

riding in the rain...and the dark... and the rain

2011-05-21T19:41:00.000-07:00

My week started with "You know, you are allowed to give yourself permission to take a day off " but you see that is just the issue, with everything I have had going on the past few weeks its been hard to get myself out there as much as I should be. That day, by the time I got out it was dusky and raining but it was the best ride. I went up around the reservoir. There was fog over the water, the balsams and oaks were incredibly aromatic, there was a chill in the air. I felt like I was in Maine.

I didn't get back out there until this morning, well, actually afternoon. Between the rain and work load and other stuff I never got out there . Today's ride was interesting because last night Kenny and I were in the East Village acting like 25 year olds. He met me at the Met, where I was checking out the McQueen exhibit, the Serra Drawings, and the Cypriotic pottery, all of which blew me away!!! Oddly, the McQueen exhibition made me feel like he was forcing me to address human sexuality in a harsh manner, like I was being caught as a voyeur in an S&M club. The work was crazy incredible, wickedly seductive and creepy at the same time. I want to go back when there is no crowd. Richard Serra's drawings made me understand his work all the more and the pottery? I could have stayed in that gallery forever but Kenny called and told me he was outside. We headed south on the 6 train, getting off at 14th street and walking to Avenue A. We headed south looking for a dive bar to have a drink at. We contemplated pizza at Artichoke but the line was too long. We finally settled on Doc Holiday's on 9th and Avenue A were I indulged in a nice glass of bourbon, or a glass of nice bourbon...We sat down at the bar and the guy sitting next to Kenny asked him about the baseball game. He had a British accent and was in NY on business. He was from San Fran by way of Manchester. We seemed to hit it off and before we knew it Kenny had his tour guide hat on and we were on this pub crawl through the village. It was a BLAST. If this had been our last night on earth, it may have ranked in my top ten best, despite not seeing any of my closest friends. This morning however was quite painful. I ingested a yogurt, berries, banana, toast and boiled potatoes just to see if I could feel any semblance of normal. When we finally dawned our bikes and headed out it was half past 1 and I was starving before we reached the 10 mile mark, despite eating all that starch at 9. So we cycled a bit more and stopped for lunch. After lunch we headed on our decided route right into a storm. With the skies opening up on us and not appearing to let up we headed for home, arriving soaked to the bone and 10 miles short of our plan. I was still in pain, ready to hurl, wishing I never indulged.
The rest of the afternoon held us putzing around the house. Actually I was planted firmly horizontal on the couch until my friend Roseanne showed up for dinner. Tomorrow? A better day on the bike, a quick trip to the Bronx, Greek food at Dan and Mary's...

The Iconography of Anna

2011-05-14T08:36:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with my daughter and wrestling over a name I had this feeling that the being inside had roots so I searched the family tree. My first thought was the two elder sisters, Marta and Rose of my own grandmother who both died of diphtheria almost a year apart to the day. They were three and four years old. I thought of my great grandmother and the pain she must have felt to loose her only two children (at the time) within a year of each other, and how scary it must have been to be pregnant again with her son Rudy and then later with my grandmother Edith. My great grandfather, a stained glass artist, designed two windows in their memory in a small church in Bayridge Brooklyn, where they lived and worked. My great-grandmother, Katharine was part of one of my favorite memories from my childhood. I would sit with her and sew for hours on end, making doll clothes for my collection. She had this closet with boxes and boxes of hats. I loved to take them down and play dress up. I think the boxes themselves intrigued me.

Kenny's grandmother Rhea, lost her mother at an early age to an industrial accident forcing her to quit school at the tender age of 12 to work and help support the family. They lived in a lower east side tenement. Her mother was a seamstress. It was Rhea that asked me if I would do her the honor of naming my daughter after her mother, Anna. Rhea and I had a special relationship. She was a big part of my young family's life. I would visit her in New Jersey often for lunch, something the kids loved. As my daughter Anna grew up I realized that her name was truly an honor.

As Anna grew I was reminded continuously about the biblical roots to her name, and the roots to the people she was named after, Anna Gross and Katharine Sickenger, both very strong willed, hard working, independent women for their time. I was reminded about the presence of something greater and often told about the significance of the story of the Presentation at the Temple.

Graduations, like births, are one of those iconic life moments. I think how back 5 years ago when Anna let everyone know she was going to Temple, and the response was "for what?". They were not referring to higher education but to the service of her father's religion. On Thursday, we experienced our own iconic version of Anna at Temple

and I realized once again how I could be both happy and sad at the same time. Anna, we are so proud of you! Go out and be that teacher, librarian, CSA farmer, environmentalist, explorer, and homesteader that you would like to be! Climb mountains, forge rivers, conquer the world and write about it! You are already a huge part of (h)istory so don't succumb to the pressure to be part of History. Just go out and do. I found this quote by an author and potter that I have been inspired by today as I looked to encourage my friend Kelly in her run around Pittsburgh. I am passing it along to you as well now go and apply it to your life.

"The sand in the hourglass flows only one way. Don’t waste precious time chasing someone else’s definition of success. Live your life with purpose now. Look for the things that inspire you, trouble you, make you feel most alive, and trust in those things to shape your future. They will give you all your heart could ever wish for."
— Bill Strickland

Single Track mind...(in other words: if you want to play with them you have to be willing to play like them)

2011-05-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

I came home yesterday shot from all that I have been up to lately. The last thing I wanted to do was get on my bike and deal with traffic. I stewed a bit and then decided that I would hit the trails instead. My main questoin was WHERE? Driving somewhere to ride would be worse than my road bike in traffic. My lovely son told me that the powerlines that ran along the reservior are great for riding. So with directions of where to turn firmly planted in my mind and the thrill of off road so close to home leaving me both excited and nervous I headed out into the woods. It was wonderful and scary and challenging and annoying and tiring...I could keep going with my description but I will spare you. The trail traversed the powerlines, some rock walls, climbed and decended some very steep terrain and had a few trecherous water crossings (something Chris balked at - he forgot to mention that). I arrived at the rondevous with the road eventually after playing tug of war for 45 min with the bike when it sank in some sand and mud up to the disc brakes. I was scratched up and bleeding and caked in MUD and DIRT (not like that is any different than work). As I road the 4 miles home on pavement feeling like I was pushing a tank up Mt. Everest I realized how lucky I was to have a kid that thought nothing of discovering that route on his own. Check out the pics (the water crossing pictured is the only one I did not have trouble with).

Where there is smoke...

2011-05-07T20:05:00.000-07:00

Where there is smoke...not sure I want to finish that phrase on many levels. I have had the week from a place that people of my mother's stature have told me there is a great deal of smoke and brimstone. So why am I avoiding the hockey sticks? I am afraid to tempt fate even more. Actually in the scheme of things, when I sit down and really look at it, things have been a whirlwind of comedic proportions. I sat there this morning listening to John ask his son about today's version of the age old Sat morning kid ritual and why it was raining oil up from the ground and no one was getting pelted with oil and did some word play, why is it raining shhhhh..it from the ground and why is my husband and our friend Chris the one's to turn off the spigot two week's in a row?

Sunday the septic backed up into the house, the pump went right in the middle of fn TREME... Monday started with a military shower of 2 minutes ( or less) I wish I was in TREME... $1K later
Tuesday? Time trial day. Oh, this takes the cake! I inhaled my salad (literally) and when the right side of my chest was still tight a few hours later ended up in the ER and after an X-ray and CT scan ended up admitted to Danbury Hospital and despite being discharged a few hours later without the prescribed bronchoscopy despite the change in my lungs (more when I know more). No time trial BTW...
Wednesday? TEA and an ORANGE PEEL and a MEETING don't MIX!!! Yes, I slipped on an orange peel at lunch while holding a full cup of rooibos and YES IT FRIGGEN STAINS. I ended up attending an after-school meeting in a beat -up sweatshirt because it was THAT much better!
Thursday, after a 3 hour drive? Well, I felt like a complete KILN HOG when ALL of the work I brought to the kiln got in and not much else...despite only 18 cups and 3 vases....
Friday? Well, after posting that the kiln was content I spoke too soon. A mulch pile that was previously insignificant (and way too near the kiln) caught fire when a strong wind kicked up AND WHILE I WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE!!! My friend Pete was privy to all of this as we were communicating at the time. Which in some way seemed so fitting. We love each other to death and in the midst of him telling me about his week, which was even more tragic, mine continued to fall apart. To top it off I was reading This Life is in Your Hand: Sixty Acres adn a Family Undone ( Coleman) which is a story about a family that homesteads off the grid in the 1970's in northern coastal Maine. I couldn't wait to tell him about it. (That always happens) The mulch-pile incident scared the beJesus out of me but I managed to extinguish it before any real damage was done. Steve showed up and I was soooooo afraid to leave the kiln's side for even 30 seconds and within site. Despite this hiccup the firing did finish up well ( and this morning we reflected upon all of it) We had a Greek dinner by the kiln that could not be beat!
Saturday? Well, as John was mentioning the oil in the cartoon to his son Kenny and our friend Chris were digging up the septic for the 2nd time, getting it pumped for the 2nd time, fixing a pump for the 2nd time, replacing couplings for the second time, finding out that flushable wipes are not safe for septics and that pipes in even these conditions can freeze and break and go un-noticed until...
I haven't been on a bike in a week and seem so out of touch with my world...TOMORROW morning in TOGA! For now its a bourbon and SLEEP!

under the cherry tree...

2011-05-01T16:51:00.000-07:00

My day started with a bike ride and ended with "Hanamizake" (drinking sake with Chris, Kaoru, Dan and Mary under the weeping cherry tree in Chris and Kaoru's yard). It was a near perfect day that capped a near perfect weekend. I rode, I worked in the studio, I visited with friends, I sent out some fundraising letters for the PMC and I met some new people.

Yesterday I managed a decent varied terrain ride, it was a beautiful day and despite stressing over the hills on the planned route I was surprised to learn that I was in better shape than I anticipated. The three hills I worried about enough to make me procrastinate my departure time actually did not bother me at all. There was one thing that I still don't get though, in the 25-30 miles I rode I passed 12 cyclists only two acknowledged me. Metropolitan NY cyclists seem to have their heads up their proverbial keister that they cannot recognize the friendly gesture as being something that they should respond to. Sorry to all my NY buddies but I have ridden in so many other places and by far we are the rudest, though the farther you get from NYC...well lets just say that by the time you his the Catskills it changes...and in Saratoga, as long as its a local you are sure to get a wave, and maybe even a shout hello. Does it really hurt that much to recognize the solidarity of the pain of the seat, the heartbreaking crunch of the hills or even the fact that you are balancing on two wheels?

After riding we ran some errands and hit up the Capt. for some libations for the weeks Yankee games and then headed home to spend the evening sharing a movie with Justin and Hallie. We watched Kick Ass, not really sure what my thoughts were about the movie. I was in bed by 10PM.

This morning Kenny and I headed to Hamden, CT to meet a fairly newbie cyclist and complete a 30 mile ride along a canal path. I was so happy to meet Rick. He was a pleasant guy with a great deal of questions and tremendous enthusiasm about riding. We had fun and while riding on a path is something that I try to save for interval workouts and try not to do on weekends it really wasn't that bad, despite the gorgeous weather. It was a really pretty ride. We saw a guy walking 8 dogs, remnants of a canal that had me reminiscing about my mom's time in Tribes Hill and the Old Barge Canal not far from her house. We also saw this flyer for an event that happened just two days ago. Steve I took the picture for you. The NH to Simsbury ride featured three groups of riders, the photographers, the caffienated tourists, and then the rabbits. We all know where you would fall on that one and despite me being on the fringe of that pace I would most likely slip back into the photographers. There is just that much to look at! Thanks Rick for showing me the path and giving me some interesting ideas for adding to the quality of workouts we do for speedskating. David if you were on the path between Hamden and Cheshire I think I saw you (actually someone who knew Team Kermit was riding in this large group, but did not stop me to say anything. He only mentioned that they were a team that rode the PMC to the guy he was riding next to).

After the ride we just had to hit up Griff's Chicken Shack. This is a place on Route 10 very close to The Sleeping Giant. Its one of Justin and Chris's favorite places to eat. This place has some of the best chicken fingers on the planet and at a very reasonable price. We brought some chicken to Chris and his buddies at the track and field car wash, not sure if he actually shared it though. I'll find out in a bit.

We ended our day with a lovely relaxing hour of drinking sake with friends under a weeping cherry tree. An incredible end to an amazing weekend!

There is this thing about PEZ

2011-04-29T17:58:00.000-07:00

Upon my return from my jaunt west I had a package from my friend Richard. He now lives in DC but we first met when we trained together for the Northeast Aidsride. We had a great amount of fun while we both learned the ins and outs of charity events. He was semi-retired at the time, living in CT. Richard and I were like the tortoise and the hare, I would race to get there and burn out along the way, he was steady as it goes and despite the grueling nature of the terrain, he always made it into camp in good shape. He also made an awesome cheesecake which we sampled on occasion after training rides.

Richard and I were part of this team that our friend Peter had put together, team Pez (dispensing hope). Our moto was to always go with the positive. When a rider had a flat we would stop and help out and leave them with a Pez dispenser. We made it a point to stop at every lemonade stand and support the grass roots commerce. Of course we would leave the kids with Pez dispensers. We would stop and talk to the people cheering us on, and you guessed it... I would start my 3 day ride with 30 dispensers and give out 10 a day. We even rode with PEZ on our helmets. It was so enlightening to bestow upon the world this tiny amount of sweetness.

What does this have to do with the package? Well, Richard has enjoyed reading my adventures and felt he needed to give me some sugar from afar! I came home from Vegas to find two Gieco Lizard Pez dispensers and a lovely note. Richard I can't wait to get back to DC with Kenny to ride with you again! I miss you.

Tonight I listed one of my pieces on EBAY as a means to raise funds for the Pan Mass Challenge. My thoughts are that I want people to remember this event when they look at the art work they purchased. I have chosen to ride on team Kermit for many reasons, some in honor of kids like my childhood friend Mike Spano, Jimmy Arena, and Jared Branfman who have died of brain cancer and then the parents who couldn't beat the disease either like my cousin Mark. Then there is the spiritual connection of common dates. Jimmy and Jared died the same day in 2005, my father died the same day in 1982. My dad was a teacher who appreciated the huge lessons that came in little packages. He had a heart of gold, was a superior craftsman and had a great sense of humor. He saw the good in everyone.

Tomorrow morning will dawn early with a three hour effort on the bike, which will be repeated on Sunday as well. I am hoping to ride with a new group of people with my friend Clare in Stamford on Sunday morning. Pedaling onward and upward yet again!

UNTIL THERE IS MORE...

digging for gold

2011-04-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

I had one of those days where I had so much going on that I didn't know if I was coming or going, not a free moment, technically. I taught the full day, worked for 2 hours in the studio, went to a meeting, then a quick ride (30 minutes on my mtn bike), then another meeting. Its 11PM and while I should be in bed, I am trying to get the thoughts out of my head before they threaten to strangle me.

I had a killer day in the studio. Time well spent (pics soon). I was thinking while I was working that I really had to text a friend to ask him if he was working in clay again YET? I was however so caught up in my own work that I couldn't spare the moment.

I arrived home with 30 minutes to spare, much less than time than I needed so I decided on the MTN bike- the knobby tired tank. I hauled and climbed as much as possible. I arrived home feeling a bit short on my workout, but sweaty just the same. My mantra, 30 minutes was better than no minutes.

Off to a meeting after that. Contemplating tomorrow, which is just as jam packed...though we are off to friends for dinner of Coney's. Looking forward to it!

you sound mentally exhausted....hmmm

2011-04-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

I am tired, have been for months now. I think my mom's diagnoses, my son's skating career and the various battles over principles with the federation, my anxiety over another child having a 1K a month nut to pay and only a small prospect of a job that will pay both rent and bills, and my own studio work and cycling workout schedule have me wound up tightly these days. I feel like I am trying to fit the world into one block in an ice-cube tray.

My mom is healing from her surgery, we will find out about her future prognosis and care shortly, but in the meantime, she is battling heart problems, something that she has never had. The medicine is making her miserably light headed and anxious. Chris did not make Cat 1, I cannot explain it, if you look at the rules as they were written he should have had it. He was in the top 6 returning Jrs in 3 distances. Apparently, this year a first year Neo-Senior is still considered a Jr.? I can see why it is so hard to grow this sport, but I am too tired this time to argue it. The way I look at it, its one more season I don't have to answer every move my family makes to USADA despite having nothing to hide. No 9PM drug tests after a necessary pre-bed hydration indulgence that would produce 3 hours of unexpected entertaining because of a unacceptable sample. None of that. Just another season to skate for the sake of skating. Yet, as a parent and a coach that hurts. Anna will graduate from Temple University next month, I am so happy for her, she has done well for herself. My only fear is that she will join the thousands of college students that graduate with no prospects of a job and a 1k/month bill to pay. There is something wrong with our society. We preach the value of education, the necessity of becoming a life long learner, yet we allow the institutions to get away with charging the moon and hand and hand with the bank expecting the stars in return. Temple is a public university and Anna had a good AID and scholarship package just the same, she is starting out with a loan payment that matches most mortgages. Of course Kenny and I will help her in any way we can, and we knew the value of the debt she was getting into but as college educated adults, we could not deny her the experience. Its just an eye opening experience in the lesson of our current economy. My own schedule of school work, studio work and cycling has my head spinning. Its a hard schedule to maintain. It has to slow down. It has to ease up. I am not sure what if anything will give but something has to be rearranged.

Why am I writing about this? My friend Steve said I sounded mentally exhausted, even told me to go eat some ice cream. I followed my mothers timeless advice instead. I went out for a ride, an hour of trying to beat the dusk. I encountered about a half dozen doing the same and imagine a perfect ride where they all are giddy enough to say hello. It happens sometimes. I also encountered a guy who almost ran me over, he was in a tricked out black RX7. He was holding a phone up to his ear. He then stopped short and tried to turn around in a driveway, with that same phone up to his ear while trying to shift gears. He cut me off again. I was thinking you ASS get off the DAMN PHONE only I thought it a bit too loudly. I actually found myself screaming it at him as I almost T-boned him doing 35 mph down a hill. Thank goodness there were people outside to witness the whole encounter. (3 cyclists climbing the hill I was descending and a woman walking her dog) The guys on bikes empathized with me but reminded me I was on two wheels and no match for him, the women walking the dog told me she was thinking the same thing as he came so close to launching me into the tree tops.

I finished my ride, threw in some laundry, did numerous other chores, took a shower, ate a salad and steamed artichokes for dinner, then had my small amount of ice cream, 1/4 cup of Breyers coffee to be exact. Tonight I will relax and think about the chocked full day tomorrow; school, studio, meeting, workout, meeting...I had contemplated riding to work tomorrow morning, get the workout out of the way before my day begins. I still might, but it depends on if I can get my act together in the next hour tonight. Commuting by bike takes a great deal of planning when the day has that much to offer. I didn't think to drop my clothes off at school this morning so if I ride, I have to carry my change of clothing...a heavy chore to say the least. Maybe later this week.

Until next time...I am off to get some rest...

To the left...

2011-04-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

Kenny and I embarked on a quick 5 day break to Vegas with his brother and sister-in-law and his mom. We left on NY Palm Sunday and got the red eye out of Sin City on Good Friday. I am not sure why that is important, there would have been a time, not too long ago that I would not have strayed too far from home during Holy Week. I am not sure how or why that changed or why that fact is even significant to my writing. Maybe it was just an irony that we spent that week in a place referred to Sin City? Who knows.

Upon arriving we were upgraded to the penthouse suite, a 3000 sq. ft. deal with 2 bedrooms, 3/5 baths a dining room, a butler and floor to ceiling windows with expansive views. We hung out at the "adult" pool by day and gambled by night. Kenny and I flew to Cali for lunch with Sandee ( a college friend) and Tim and their girls. We played at the aquarium and on the beach eventually flew back to Vegas in time for dinner downtown at Tony and Nick's steakhouse. It was interesting to travel sans luggage of any kind and to have a flight take less than 45 minutes or be less than 50. It felt like we were engrossed in this fantasy life of high rolling thrills. Strangely, this vacation was relaxing beyond belief.

We accomplished a great deal, I finished Blood, Bones and Butter, saw Santana in concert, got dressed up, played in nice hotels, ate breakfast at Hash House A Go-Go where the meal was 12- 14" in Dia and was as tall as it was round. We walked, and walked and walked...and walked. We also took a great deal of cabs, where Harriet's main question was "So where are you from?". My experience with the book I was reading had me wondering what these guys have seen in there time behind the wheel and for those who were from elsewhere, like a different country, what they did for a living before getting to this "land of in-opportunity and getting stuck here" My guess is that one was a doctor or maybe even a teacher because education and health care were things that he talked about. He was from Africa originally, very eloquent, very well spoken. There was the guy who dropped us at the airport when we headed to Cali who tried to tell us his meter was broken because his check engine light was on. Kenny and I were sure he was going to try to get more from us. The guy backed down when he saw me pull out a pen and paper and appear to write down his tag number. Then there was the PSYCHO guy who texted and drove just because it scared Kenny's mom. There was also this MALITIA from the South Bronx (Morrisania to be exact). He was just short of having me scared that we were going to be held captive if we didn't agree with him. He spoke of politics and the "new civil and very bloody war that was about to occur in this country". I really wish I had grabbed his tag number in case the authorities were looking to implicate a cab driver...

Our red-eye flight home boarded on time, but had mechanical issues as soon as we backed away from the gate. We had to sit in the dark on the tarmac for 2 hours while it was fixed. The flight itself was bumpy and HOT, CRAMPED, and STUFFY. We arrived home at noon or so after a few errands and I proceeded to sleep for the next 20 hours. THe sun got me on Thursday but because we had to vacate the hotel by noon I could not deal with the dizziness and blisters until I got home. The sad part is that I did protect myself with sunscreen, but it seemed to not work as well as it could have. Yes, I did toss it. I think it was old.

Easter was great, though a great deal of the work was done by Kenny. I was still feeling it this morning. I learned that grapefruit added to a mimosa takes the sweetness out of it (thank you Anna). I am not sure if you know how hard it was to be greeted by this first thing in the morning again.

I am left feeling like I needed a vacation from a vacation...I am so tired!

road kill, hermit caves, day laborers and what happens when an OLD man on a mtn bike when he is passed by a fat chick...

2011-04-10T17:59:00.000-07:00

My weekend started on the bike, sort of, actually I woke early on Saturday and spent a long time searching for one of my fairly new pairs of kermit shorts. Obsessed, I looked everywhere, took out almost every stitch of my clothing out and reorganized it. Hoping beyond hope to find this pair of shorts I wore not more than a 1/2 dozen times. UGGGHHH. We had a track meet to get to and now my long ride had just been significantly shortened and I was still stewing about a pair of shorts. I gathered myself and slipped into my "other" kermit gear and out the door I went, almost, I now had another problem, I couldn't find my HELMET. The clock was ticking away, Chris was already in Cornwall and I was now under a major time crunch so off I went, for a quick paced very hilly hour. I hauled until I came across some road kill that needed to be documented that is, some peeps just outside a school driveway, one apparently already run over. I had already ridden down the hill before I decided this so I turned around and rode back up to take the picture. There were some guys doing some work in the parking lot that couldn't understand what I had found alongside the road. They wondered over just as I was taking off for home. I wonder what they thought when they got there.

I raced home, it was late. We live on a hill, and despite anyway you decide to get there, its a 1/2 mile climb. One side is a manageable grade, maybe 8% with a few short pitches of 12%. Then there is the other side, which starts with some undulations then climbs steeply for a 1/2 mile. I chose to climb the steeper side of our hill where there is a short painful section that is considered steep slope (15-18% grade) that has a hairpin at the end of it before it levels out to a more feasible climb. Despite wanting to give up and walk I came to that decision point where the road pitches sharply up and being clipped in one needs to commit or turn around to unclip or face falling over. I decided to commit, after all I hadn't bailed on that hill once in the past seven years, even at my worst, so I wasn't going to start now. There were some neighborhood kids sitting on the grass at the hairpin, in full view of my climb. I was so winded, pushing hard, my HR maxed out, feeling hypoxic. If you could see their faces, it was like they were watching a very funny movie. When I couldn't say hello, just wave, they roared with laughter.

I rolled into the driveway, wheezing. I hit the shower and headed to watch Chris's track meet. He told us he was running at 1, it was not 1:30, but we decided to go anyway. I am so glad we did, he did not run until 5PM. Kenny and I enjoyed the day sitting in the sun on the ADK chairs outside the school waiting and chatting. My only regret was that I could have spent a longer time on my bike after all, maybe even rode out there from home.

After the meet Kenny and I headed south and east, off to the Clay Art Center to catch the opening of Mark Chatterley's exhibition. I was blown away but the magnitude of the work, it was incredible in both scale and concept. Most of the work reached within a foot of the ceiling. It was much larger than life. We visited with the crowd for a bit then headed for dinner. Chris told Kenny to take me to Pat's Hubba Hubba, which he did. All I have to say is that AL, if you are reading this from Dinkytown, this is possibly your rival in the East. Fourteen dollars bought us 2 Texas burgers (chili, onions and cheese on a burger), french fries, onion rings and 2 pepsi's. There were 4 big guys working behind the counter, and I mean big. Every time they had to change places they had to practically go outside. Choreography at its greatest.

This morning I got up the minute the cat started bugging me to feed her. I immediately put on my gear and put up some oatmeal and coffee. I read a bit while I waited the 30 minutes for the oatmeal to cook and relaxed into the idea that Jon put 2 hours of HARD riding on the table. I was out of the house in short order, and I couldn't tell you where I was headed. I got to the bottom of the hill and all the way into town when I realized that this was not yesterday and my hands felt like ice cubes. I needed to rethink my glove choice. I turned around and remember that hill I described, well I motored up it pissed off that I had been so stupid. At least my legs were fresh and my gloves were in the car not the house. After dawning my gloves I was off and found myself headed towards Brewster. I decided that despite my open mind towards the immigrant population and day laborers I don't like riding up a hill in front of 80 or so of them, especially when they cat call in Spanish at my fat ass struggling to climb a hill.

I finally break free of that experience and head out towards Carmel. I see this guy riding a mtn bike and I blow by him going up this hill. He yells out I got to get me one of those bikes. The next thing I know I was pulling him all over my world for the next thirty minutes. Don't pass an old guy on a mtn bike when you are a fat chick, he will hate it and push you to ride faster until its his turn, then you realize that you have to change your route because he is spent. I ambled a bit more before heading home. I was exhausted by the time I hit the hill, which despite taking the whimpy way felt like a mountain. My only goal for the rest of the day, besides working on my report cards was to not ingest more than I expended. I think I did alright.
With that said, I am back on the bike tomorrow.

I spent the day enjoying the MET with my son (and 2 colleagues and 40 students)

2011-04-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

I am ready to write another road trip feature for the Knickerbocker Ledger. At first I was going to write about the MFA, which really, hands down, is my favorite museum, but I think I am going to feature both the MFA and the MET as a comparison of personalities.

I spent the day in the Met with my 23 year old son, two colleagues and 40 students. My class was directed to go look at two very different exhibits and come up with some solutions for finishing their own work. One of those exhibits was called Poetry in Clay, a Korean Ceramic exhibit from the Leeum Samsung Museum in Seoul. I was tickled that the Korean gallery attendant was thrilled to hear I was in her home country last summer and that I went to the museum that the work had come from. I know I saw a dragon pot there in Korea, I wonder if the one that came to NY was the same one. She went on and on about how I should go back in the fall and visit some of the festivals, see the spectacular colors and eat the seasonal cuisine? This had me wondering what did she mean seasonal cuisine and just where the KimChi truck stopped today?

The other exhibit I had my students visit was Refiguring an African Icon. This was rather small exhibit that filled the hallway by the elevator between the African masks and the Modern Art galleries. It figures that this exhibit was one of those where there was no photography allowed and my students got chastised by a guard and had to put away their cameras only to have another group come by and take photos and not get yelled at.

I always seem to spend my time in the same galleries. This time I decided to make it a point to see one thing I would not usually stop to look at. I was cutting through the 19th century period room to get to the American wing so that I could indulge in that cup of coffee that I so desperately needed and came across the above cameo cut vase. I found both the colors and the details incredible.

After arriving in the American Wing we realized that we still had to wait for the cafe to open but this allowed us to have a great conversation about photo and printmaking and college choices. I laughed at the fact that I seemed to sit down with Justin (and Teresa and Henry) in front of a sculpture called the "Frog Pond" which reminded me so much of Justin's personality.

After some much needed sustenance we headed to see a two more exhibits and headed to the bus for the journey home. It was a wonderful day in the city. When I arrived home it was a different story however. I had some errands to deal with and was left in the seething grips of a migraine after one went terribly awry. This seems to have been my week. Not to mention I still can not remember for the life of me what I was supposed to do this weekend. My hope is that if it was with someone reading this they will remind me. A few years ago I suffered a concussion that left me with post concussion syndrome. I have not felt this helpless about a memory problem since then. I know it was the mountain of work all at once, but its bothersome.

As of now, tomorrow? I am out for a long ride and then off to an opening at the Clay Art Center in Portchester. Call me if you want to join me.

STRESS...............................................and memory...

2011-04-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have been stress filled between going back and forth to Boston and Saratoga, compiling grades, and putting together a very dynamic and successful ceramic exhibition of HS work from around the country, complete with the rude behavior of one school, I am spent. This was just the icing on my incredible red velvet...

Don't get me wrong, but I have something really really important to do this weekend, which is why I could not go back up to Saratoga, and for the life of me I cannot remember what it was. It was the one time I didn't use my smart phone to add it to my calendar which was stupid on my part I guess. I am perplexed.

I worked out a great deal this week too, even made it into my old habit of riding for an hour and then doing olympic lifts, which has helped me with sleep and kept me focused but ?

Tomorrow I am off to the Met with my class to see the mask exhibit and some pottery! (maybe then?)

The things you hear in passing...

2011-04-03T11:44:00.000-07:00

I spent my morning attending to several tasks, such as creating labels for the MUD exhibit, completing some chores for my mom, and enjoying the program Sunday Morning. I put a roaster in the oven for my mom and then spent the next 60 minutes out on my bike tooling around Saratoga Lake, well, out to the inlet and back anyway. It was an extremely windy ride, one of those where the wind decided that you needed a workout in both directions. I think I live the old adage "uphill both ways" sometimes. I was feeling a bit behind the eight ball this morning, like I swallowed an ocean of salt water. I didn't want to stop on my ride, but at the half way point I decided that I needed more than water so I went into Stewarts and bought some vile sportsdrink. While waiting on line I hear this guy who was paying for gas for his vette complaining to the cashier that his car runs like crap on the corn they call fuel and how the government will be upping the ethanol percentage to 15% soon. I was only half listening until he made a comment that I am still chewing on. "Civilizations that BURN their FOOD for fuel cease to exist in short order"

Its a well known fact that we don't have an energy crisis in this country, we have an energy emergency that is as bad and as urgent as our national debt. The guy had a point. Our production farms have converted resources to growing corn for fuel that we have created a world hunger problem that will eventually hit home as well. The issue I had with this guy though was how his choice of vehicle was adding to the energy deficit because it was not the most efficient use of the resources he was expending. The things one hears in passing.

The lake was beautiful today. I was surprised at how much ice was still on the lake. In places it still looked thick enough to support activity, though I would never think of it as there was also plenty of open water. There was a great deal of activity, amounting to "spring cleaning", people outside sweeping, raking, digging, scrubbing...Then there were the ducks, who seemed to be overjoyed at the fact that they found a large bay of open water with a 1/2 submerged abandoned dock adrift in the middle of it, of course it was also in full sun, making for a spring holiday. The things you notice in passing.

I hope to host a BBQ, maybe even a pig roast in June to help with my fundraising efforts for the PMC. I remember how Kenny and I used to have a standing date with the pig and mint juleps in May on Kentucky Derby day. It was our way to get all of our friends together in one place. Kenny would spend a solid two days stoking a firebox on the smoker, you would think he was firing a wood kiln. His pulled pork is to die for and I HATE pork! I have a sheer aversion to it, maybe it was my pork with a side of keilbasa upbringing? I am not sure how we got out of that tradition, but its time to bring it back! On that note, look for for postings about my ETSY shop soon, all the money I raise will go to my ride and those who buy will have a piece of artwork to show for it. The things you think about in passing.

More tomorrow!

I didn't really feel like it but I made myself do it...

2011-04-02T16:23:00.000-07:00

I spent the afternoon yesterday setting up an exhibition of ceramic work. Moving pedestals, cleaning pedestals, removing boxes, climbing flights of stairs. I didn't realize just how much I did until I woke up this morning, I was spent. Consuming the 3 B's at the Blazer pub didn't help either (burger, beer, bourbon) but this was an important stop for my spirit. Tom (bartender) and I talked a great deal about my dad, the previous owners of the place and believe it or not pouring the perfect Guinness. Yes it takes Tom a good 5-7 min per pour and yes it does make a difference in the taste. He even manages a nice shamrock on top.

This morning I was a bit tired but I pulled myself together and headed to the Jonesville Store to pack up my own exhibition and you guessed it managed 10 flights of stairs with heavy boxes of ceramics. Why the heck does the work I do have to be so friggen heavy!!! After purchasing some scones and black bean pulled pork salad I headed to my mom's bearing these gifts. We lunched on the soup I had made for her before she went into the hospital, and then headed out for 90 minute ride to Balston Lake up to Saratoga and back. It was a beautiful ride. I chose both rode and about 5 miles of path (which proved to be really annoying as there were places that were tough to navigate as the snow/ice cover was not yet gone. When I finally arrived back in Balston Spa, I exited the path to find myself in the midst of a ton of chickens grazing. Anna, you are right, they are so stupid! I couldn't get them to move out of my way it was like they were oblivious to my presence. Maybe the grubs were too good?

I rode up route 50 and cut through the park on my way back. My goal was to ride for 90 minutes at 80-90% of my MHR, my theory on HR, cadence, and only checking the milage at that end is that its a better indicator of progress. So in the end, I covered about 27.5 miles in 90 minutes and it felt really good for the soul to have the sun beating down on me and the wind blasting me. I am so ready to keep training. Now I just have to start the fundraising process.

So why am I riding the Pan Mass Challenge? Mostly because of what I witnessed at Dana Farber over the last few weeks as my mom started her journey fighting lung cancer. I felt just as supported as my mom which I wasn't sure I would even need, but looking back on it now I know and appreciate how that extra effort to make my family feel comfortable made my mom feel comfortable. I cannot say it enough the place was absolutely amazing!

More from the road tomorrow. Look for another post to the Knickerbocker Ledger by tomorrow. I am just tweaking my battle of the object terminology piece, not that it really matters, my work is my work.
Until then...

I think I like riding in the dark...

2011-03-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

I have been on my bike 4 out of the last 5 days, not a bad start for the season. I have spent three of those rides bridging dusk and riding right into the night. Last year I had grown to love being on the road in the darkest most deep ink purple part of the night, just before dawn. It was quite, the world seemed to be asleep while I was playing. The sun would come up just about half way (12.5 miles) into my commute to school. Each time it was stunning. Each time it was different. The past three days has had me riding on the other side of the night when the black is more grey blue, the light not yet totally diffused from my world. This type of riding is not quiet, it is more chaotic with people rushing about trying to eek out the last part of their day. I have decided that this type of riding, while not uncomfortable, takes a great deal more diligence. I don't really care for being out on the main roads at this time, especially knowing that to be safe requires that I stay as far right as possible which puts me into a debris field of pot holes, gravel and discarded items. I have been riding however because I need to ride. Its the first time in a long time that I can honestly make this statement from my heart. I NEED TO RIDE! Maybe its my mom's illness, maybe its my way of grieving Hanna's death, maybe it just my need to get my head back in touch with my heart? Who knows?

Tonight's ride had a mission, I wanted to go up to the HS to see Chris run his first track meet in two seasons. He didn't run last year. He started the year out well, running a leg of the 4x400 and gaining back a huge amount of turf before passing on the baton. I was freezing while standing there in the wind. I had hauled over there because I didn't want to miss him running only to find out that I had about a 40 minute wait. I rode my HR only shifting to granny when it was warranted by a number and shifting up as soon as my HR recovered. I only saw granny once today!

Last night I had dreamt of how wonderful it would be to be able to get up at 4:30 and ride for an hour before work. I don't get to bed early enough so I am a bit hesitant. Soon enough I will start commuting by bike again when I can handle the back to back 50's. Give me a few weeks.

On another note, I have just registered for the PMC as a rider. I am so excited to do this!

I get a text at 5PM asking me if I excited my bike today...

2011-03-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

My first response was this guilty, whiny, plea, that I was still at work and would be for awhile. My next text was I am leaving now. Then after some thought I wrote the real question is "did my bike excite me today?" I came home, got caught up for an hour on stupid stuff and then remembered my last text. It was 7PM and getting dark, I was loaded with excuses but would not let them rule. Positive thoughts were all I could muster and I grabbed my bike, hooked up the headlight (which is brighter than both my cars) and turned on the plethora of HIT ME blinkies (placed on static so I would be less of a target) and headed out in my Kermit gear covered by illuminite. I spent a GIDDY hour getting to know my favorite vehicle again.
Tomorrow? I officially register as a rider in the PMC.

If I could have told you anything..

2011-03-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Hanna,
If I could have told you anything I would have told you that you made a difference in my life. You were always interested in what I was doing, what work, what travels, what challenges I was embarking on. Your enthusiasm for my adventures was both intriguing and inspiring. You made me want to go and do and experience...You smiled as much as Mikey and had the heart of 10,000. If I could say anything I would say thank you, I love you, I miss you, and yes I was very proud of you. It was a huge privilege to watch you grow up during the 18 years I have known you. Peace Sweetie! You are forever in my heart.
Bye Love!

its been a long week

2011-03-27T18:49:00.000-07:00

lots of firsts:

seeing my mom so vulnerable, advocating for a parent, being around so much cancer....and despite the pain and hardship there was so much LOVE

Tomorrow is a new day, week, start...my prayers are with a bunch of people, all those who have been wishing my mom well, the people who have been wishing me well, my brother, who I spent three captive hours in the car with, my mom (that goes without saying) and Steve who has found himself in the hospital this weekend, and his wife Ellen who has found herself in a similar place to where I have been in all week. Ellen, you are being held close in so many hearts, I know you know that, but...

Jon, thanks for pushing me to exercise and laugh despite it all. It helped a lot though tonight's 8:30 hill workout...outside in the cold, not my cup of tea, even though I did it.

Thank you everyone for being so supportive and maybe the worst is behind us (faith). Love you!

The season's first ride...

2011-03-26T12:28:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I had set the goal of having today be my season's official first ride. I had hoped that it would have been an a reunion ride of those people I had gotten so close to a few years ago doing AIDS rides. We used to start our season of training rides on the sound shore in Westport, CT then go for Greek food at the diner across from the station. I had hoped to do the same today but things just didn't work out that way. Up until yesterday I wasn't even sure that I was going to be around to ride. I actually thought any riding I might do would have been with Steve and John in Boston because I was sure that I would need a diversion from the day at the hospital with my mom. However, last night I posted that I was hoping to ride today, hoping beyond hope that I would get a few takers. My luck left me with none, so Kenny and I decided to stay closer to home and ride the trail. Not the best ride for training purposes, but it was cold enough to be empty of that park like traffic and since it wasn't plowed and salted all winter it would also be free of pot holes. All I can say is despite spending a great deal of time on my skates and XC skis this winter, it was really, really, really COLD!!! I think the reason we only went 10 or so miles is because we never warmed up, not even when we climbed. It was great to be out though and it accomplished one thing, it got me itching to ride again and has helped fuel the desire to ride a lot.

I have been trying to finalize details on just how I will be able to ride the PMC this summer with our upcoming training trip to Utah and Chris's desire to skate roller Montreal. I think I may have found the solution. So if the Sturbridge to P-town route is still open when I confirm my planning thoughts then I will be changing my status from virtual rider to actual rider. I need to find a 54 to borrow, someone to pick me up at Logan and at least 84 people to donate 50. to the cause...

an opening farewell...a new appreciation for a lot of things

2011-03-24T17:22:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, and despite the good prognosis, the experience of helping her to overcome this has been exhausting. Lets just say its a journey, one that has allowed my mom to start preparing my brother and I for the eventual inevitable, even if it could very well be another 30 years away. We have been talking a great deal already, rehashing old stuff, celebrating life and saying our peace. Sometimes there has been nothing left in the stack of experiences, sometimes there is something as big as an elephant hanging out there for what seems to be this awkwardly long period of time. The rules have changed, however, and anything that is left out to hang is dealt with, no repression allowed.

As a parent I see myself sometimes regretting decisions or even second guessing the past. I think every parent goes through that. Your hope is that your children know that you did your best and that they don't ever resent you. I know what my mom went through in my life and I know that her decisions were based on what was needed at that moment. There was never a moment in my adult life where I resented anything my mom ever did regarding my upbringing. Still, convincing her of that has been difficult and has required some difficult conversations and waterworks.

I spent the week on an emotional roller-coaster. My mom is doing well despite some of the touch and go health stuff that occurred with her surgery. I am so spent, ready to crumble into a ball, torn that I am here in NY and she is in Boston. This is hard despite the expert care she is getting.

I had this insightful conversation with my friend Steve today about relationships. I am amazed at how much a person's eyes and facial expressions can reveal. This was one of those discussions where silence and facial expressions were almost more important and spoke volumes. I was so glad that I was broken enough to be able to key in to it. It made me realize just how incredibly intricate relationships are. Cancer touches everyone, period! For the first time in my life this fact totally hit home as those unspoken words slowly became spoken because the heartache would have most certainly produced uncontrollable tears.

On my way home, as I drove through areas that I have spent on my bike, I wanted nothing more than to be on my bike training for the PMC, and I am trying to figure out how to somehow accomplish this in August. I have tried every year for the past 3 to pull this off. This year is different. I have always appreciated the cause but I now have this new appreciation for Dana Farber and what they do for people. Even if I don't do this please, please, please...I encourage you to donate to the cause. The team I have linked to is the one I would ride on. Please support them.

More later...I am exhausted.

Thinking as a Consequence of the Word Craft

2011-03-20T14:17:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago an artist I know pissed me off by telling me that my means of creating held no worth. I've been stewing ever since. With my pen in hand I had set out to disprove that statement with this monumental writing that would point to the fact that while yes my chosen mediums have always been deemed applied arts, artisanry, or crafts, the motives to my making have never been less than Aristotle's best definition, conceptual and autonomous. My work was about my thoughts and existed because of my thoughts, not because the world needed another vessel or body ornament. I have proven I can draw, paint, sculpt but there is something about going after that perfect object that both satisfies my need to express and my need to have my art be a portable reminder of my statement of the moment.

So I set out to write this crushing article and I admit I have hit massive roadblocks all over the place. Am I doomed to be labeled an artisan, essentially the steerage class of the art world? I set out again today with all the time in the world to read Glenn Adamson's book Thinking through Craft and after 50 pages or so set out on a long hike through the snow with wool socks and clogs on hoping that my trudge the wet and cold ground would jar something in my brain that would rock the world...I am stuck I admit, but interestingly enough my thought process is evolving and digesting all the same. New socks, a cup of tea, a milk-crate to sit on to read in the glorious spring sunshine has helped me reframe my sheer anger to contemplative thought. I had to separate my feelings from my work. My writing is getting there...I just have to remind myself that in a democratic society we have freedom of speech and expression and doing those things well are a product of education. SO, I will turn this around, reframe my own thoughts, and deliver an educated answer to the world about the nature of this particular WORD eventually. All I can say is that I am working on it.

I had to repost this... it resonated

2011-03-15T16:19:00.000-07:00

I think about all the studios I experienced this summer while in Korea and what my own studio looked like after the 5th flood in one year (each consecutive one after we thought we had solved the initial water issue) and I try to imagine just what it may have been like to be living and working in Japan. Would I have been able to handle the stress? Would I be calm?

A first person account

I can't imagine getting back to work, even though that I know that this might just be a way to deal with the stress. My heart goes out to the whole country especially those who have lost everything and continue to struggle.

Baldy, Cue Ball, Mr. Clean...

2011-03-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

Yes I am going to shave my head again for St. Baldricks on Saturday at the New Canaan Fire House. Cancer research for any age group is an important venture. Cancer research for pediatrics even more so.

My thoughts on vanity... While I do care about how I look, those who know me also know that I am more into how one presents themselves as a person (what is inside is what is fascinating). I am not in anyway uncomfortable about a bald head, matter of fact, its just hair, it grows back.

How am I going to feel walking into a cancer hospital with my mom with a bald head and without cancer? I thought about this long and hard. These people are in the business of treating cancer, and my take on it is that they would be thrilled by the gesture, especially when it was done to set a better example of the human condition for future adults.

So tomorrow will be my last day with hair for awhile, I figure a good 4-6 months (that is what it took last time). If you would like to support me you can do so here.

If it takes a village then why oh why did my soul designate me as the towne crier?

2011-02-27T17:31:00.000-08:00

My young childhood consisted of a neighborhood of boys (and a few girls) who bullied me endlessly. Despite eventually learning how to stick up for myself, and to be more assertive, I never did really learn how to let things roll. I take things to heart all the time and its starting to ANNOY me but I am not sure how to change this.

I have once again opened my mouth, just trying to make sure things were fair and have alienated a great deal of people. When did my soul decide that I had to be the one to proclaim the rules in the village that is raising my child? I need these people yet I find it really difficult to follow the mantra "sometimes the best thing to say is nothing".

On my way home from upstate today I stopped to add to my road-trip feature that I will be releasing this week on the Ledger. I was on the campus of my alma-matter, New Paltz. I went to the view the exhibitions that i tried to see Tuesday. While I was looking at the "Illustrious Mr. X" I came across one of my favorite Goya self portraits, The Sleep of Reason Brings Forth Monsters. I sat there drinking in that print for a good long while. Here a sleeping Goya is haunted by demons of the night, taunting him with the means for him to work. I decided I was wallowing in guilt. I was being haunted by the demon calling for fair play and sometimes while I struggle to make sure that this voice is heard it backfires and I become the adversary. I have decided that I actually think I need help dealing with my own insecurities, but that is a story for my private files.

I thought about this for a bit, history is deemed to repeat itself. It happens personally. It happens locally. It happens globally. It happens. I am starting to wonder if it is because we allow the status quo to exist even when we are proclaiming that we want to change it? Are we too tired, scared, or something other?

My son won the overall event this weekend. It was bittersweet. While trying to make sure that what he skated was a fair competition for all this morning I again found myself on the gallows. I know what I said and I know other people heard it the way I said it, but there is always that one that hears it wrong and things escalate...Am I destined to be a drama queen forever?

I am an intense person but I have a soft voice. Many times when I raise it just to be audible it comes across as anger. Maybe I just need voice coaching?

I feel horrible, beating myself up all because I wanted the rules to be followed. I hear Dave's voice in my head, telling me to lighten up because people hate that... I only have one question about the rules, and I am not being sarcastic or aggressive, I am being sincere. If we claim that they are often changed and made up as we go along and that is really bothersome because it lessens accountability, then why is it so horrible to request that they be followed?

A towne crier was the one that was asked to proclaim the mandates of the courts...my soul seems to have deemed me to that position in my son's village...I wish I could be the one that turns my head to look the other way, just once!

Roadtrip...its not what I thought either

2011-02-23T06:01:00.000-08:00

I was off to my second ROLFING session yesterday in Gardiner. The plan was for Chris and I to head up state eventually, but he had to be in NYC to do some research for his AP Environmental class. In other words, it looked like I was going to be playing the drive 1/2 way to Albany, drive home just to pick him up, only to drive back game. It seemed like such a waste of time and resources.

I had Chris take the train to Poughkeepsie. Now, what to do with the rest of my day?

I had been thinking about my column quite a bit after the first article got some positive feedback. I decided that I would write a major article once a month, each one about a poignant topic in the art world. I also decided to do this weekly/biweekly road trip feature where I highlight some of the interesting art venues local to New Yorkers.

Yesterday, while I was trying to solve my transportation problems, I decided to concentrate on the things in and around New Paltz. I was so excited, after rolfing I would go get a quick ski in on the ridge before heading down into town to do some research for my column. I would give me that push to finally formally visit the Dorsky museum. I was even excited about the exhibitions. The coverlets from Huguenot Street were on view, something historical that had its roots in craft rather than fine art. I don't think there should be a distinction except maybe that the craft artist thought about utilitarian needs...don't get me started I might end up with my very next article being written right on the spot. I would then tie it in with some things I think I might do today around the Saratoga area and then a plan for the High Peaks region later in the week.

It was a beautiful day on the ridge and because of that I didn't even mind skiing alone. I decided to ski Monhonk, I figured after the thoughtful well intended brutality of fixing my breathing capacity (sorry Rich) this would be a quite refuge where I didn't have to think about it much, just ski. Though the thought of Minnewaska's challenges did tempt me. I skied for about an hour, just enough to get sweaty and smelly and experience winter temps at there best by taking a baby wipe shower in a composting restroom, as if the cold air wasn't enough. I changed and headed into town, stopping at Starbucks for some tea before heading up to campus. I was pumped to see some art, be studious in the library, research the Huguenots, think creatively...I am trailing off for a reason.

I got out of the car with a giddy step, walked by the new Atrium that was added to the Student Union building, thought about how much this place had changed since I went here, all the while remaining focused about what I had to get done. I practically ran to the front door of the museum only to be stopped dead in my tracks by the sign...The Samuel Dorskey Musuem is open Wed- Sun, 11AM -5 PM. The suggested donation is $5. WHAT??? Now what was I going to do, I had 2 hours before I had to be in Poughkeepsie and despite New Paltz having this HOT Visual Arts program, it has little to offer in the line of galleries in town. UGGGH... Think, think, think...what is in Poukeepsie? Marist, Vassar... they both have galleries. Of course after I crossed the bridge I realized that I could have gone to the Unison Art Center or even to Huguenot Street. I used my (stupid) smart phone to gather the information I needed, spent an hour trying to find the art building on the Vassar campus, with almost no one, including the security guy I talked to knew where it was (thank you Nerd guy, you have redeemed your institution of higher learning). Back to the phone, had the campus map been able to be viewed without pixelating at a larger size I would have seen that Marist has a highway called route 9 running through the campus. I thought the campus was only on the river side of the street. I finally found the Steel Plant Studios building, and a place to park without the threat of getting towed as signs warned. The building, by the way, is nicely located on route 9 with BIG BOLD LETTERS on the side of the building. Who pays attention to those kind of clues?

The exhibition I saw was interesting, worth the look, even more so when I read the artist statement. I felt though that one of the two artists could have edited his choices a bit more. This is a really large exhibition space and someone like me who works small might have a hard time with the overwhelming space, however, I think its still the responsibility of the maker to edit accordingly. It seemed like he through things in at the last minute that may not have had anything to do with his original intent? Exhibitions are not just about the artwork but about the space as well. How well can they work in concert. In this case, there was a hiccup, which was a shame considering how strong the work was.

OK, you are probably thinking that this was because the curator set it up poorly? That wasn't the feeling one got from the show. The curator actually did a wonderful job of composing. It appeared that the artist just threw in one to many similar items of varying quality, taking away from the strong statement by showing too much of the weaker work.

I managed to fetch Chris shortly after, which went off without a hitch. We took the liberty of driving to Albany on Route 9, a beautiful drive, took care of a few errands and then headed to the Public House for dinner.

I will update you on the rest of the story later, when I finally put my review of the actual artwork, venues and space into a proper perspective. Right now I am off to help my mom with her PET Scan.

Teach to Learn, Learn to Teach: Are you sick of highly paid teachers?

2011-02-19T14:32:00.000-08:00

My friend Karen turned me on to Michelle's blog today. I felt that I needed to share it as it is in line with what I said yesterday. It is definitely food for thought!

Teach to Learn, Learn to Teach: Are you sick of highly paid teachers?: "A friend put this up on Facebook a while back and it stuck with me. As teachers, our goals are so much more than to babysit other pe..."

My latest endeavor ... and defensive ramble

2011-02-18T16:06:00.000-08:00

I agreed several weeks ago to write for the Knickerbocker Ledger and today I am thrilled to say that I posted my first article. If you get a chance I hope you will give it a read.

I hesitated with posting it a bit, honestly, as I have been glued to what is happening in Wisconsin. My first inkling was that maybe being a teacher was not the best thing to broadcast right now. The country seems ready to crucify us because we stand firm on not wanting to make concessions to a legally binding document. I ask all of you to consider how this would play out with your creditors, the contractors you hire, the mechanics and service companies you do business with. I am not talking about negotiating a new agreement and shopping for the best deal one can make, I am referring to the agreements you already have in place. How would that work out? imagine agreeing to a price for a repair to your car and then trying to re-negotiate it after the work is done? I realize that everyone must help tow the line, but have you stopped to ask the politicians that are trying to push this legislation what happens to their pay when there is a state mandated furlough, do they give back their check too? In some cases, they don't have to. That varies by state.

Did you know that most teachers in this country make so little that they have to work two jobs just to make ends meet. I am not only talking about disadvantaged districts either. I am talking about districts where the per-student expenditure is well above the national average and the teachers make only 30K a year after 20 plus years of service. It is not the grand cash cow everyone makes it out to be with lavish vacation time, endless sick and personal time, and great benefits. It can be a bear of a job with extremely low pay, 10 hour days, and the time off being used just to catch up on the endless paperwork and lesson planning. As for the personal and sick time, I attest that I have no more than my corporate counterparts and I have to account for the time I do take to make sure its in line with my contract.

Then, there is this little thing called education to land the job. I have as much completed graduate work to my name as your average family physician, I have to pay a similar amount of malpractice insurance which my union has thankfully negotiated for so that my premiums are lower, and have similar loan burdens as that physician but I don't have a similar salary though will admit that I am one of the "lucky" ones to have a district that values its employees and pays them accordingly.

Your next argument will be tenure I am sure. I'll do my best to explain it. A tenured teacher can be fired for the very same things most of you can be fired for: insubordination, breech of contract (which includes things like not being prepared for class, being late, leaving early, being negligent, abusing leave time, etc ) and breaking the state labor laws. We can also be fired for being immoral (engaging in inappropriate behavior) and for breaking civil laws despite the baring or relevance to in class performance, meaning it happened on personal time. The only thing tenure does is grant us due process so that if there is a case of an impending termination decision, more than one person would be making that decision and the teacher would have representation. It limits the subjective possibilities.

I am not usually one to share my own personal political thoughts but in this case I feel very empathetic and a good deal of that is due to the fact that I also continually find myself trying to defend my chosen profession as if I am getting away with that pot of gold, stealing it even.

Yesterday, while being admittedly glued to the events in WI, I was listening to this one radio commentator talk about how egregious it was that the schools closed in WI and now students were starving (physically) because there were no meal programs available. He was less concerned about the teacher who called in to say that the students wanted to be in school learning and that they felt like the government (not educators) was cheating them out of their right to do so. It seems that in this case the WI students have learned that their own rights were being violated by a government who decided to go back on its word to the people. Its heart warming to see them stand up with their teachers and make the argument that what was OK in Egypt a few days ago has to be OK here too. What a testament to the students. Dewey would be proud as education is the only way democracy can exist!

I ask you to consider all of this before you bash the institution that you are asking our young to have faith in. Remember most learn by example and follow the lead of those they care about most. How can you ask a child to believe in the importance of learning if you then bash the institution and its functional assets (teachers and support staff)?

Wrapping my head around it all...

2011-02-17T18:32:00.000-08:00

I skied "The Ridge" last Saturday and it was an enormous treat. I have always found peace up there with the hawks and knowing that my week might include some difficult news I embraced the chance to be up there, on that ridge despite the weather and the conditions. I was with my skiing friend Jon, who is always encouraging and always patient despite me skiing so much slower than he does. Jon would wait up for me, then ski off as I arrived, I never had a chance to have a break so it was a constant 3.5 hours of skiing. I only stopped to take the occasional photo, which eventually became my excuse to stop, by the time we reached the end of the Castle Point carriage way where I had to change my focus from skiing forward to controlling speed I was spent enough to have major muscle spasms going on. It was difficult to say the least. I remembered what it was like when I learned how to coach an endurance sport such as cycling where there was a group of people who were mismatched ability, the front guys would not get a workout and the rear of the pack would bonk. I attributed some of my fatigue to the first person we encountered on the trail, about 5 miles in, he was sure to tell us about the conditions on the cliff face where the tracks were almost non-existent but the surface was icy and very dangerous. The stress of thinking about it robbed me of precious energy. Had he kept his mouth shut I probably wouldn't have thought much about the conditions I had already suspected and just skied them. The next day, I was fine, not sore, but my back was screaming. I couldn't move off the couch. I have been nursing those spasms all week. Today I tended to it.

My mom had a biopsy done on an area of suspicion that was found in her lung a few years ago. When it was first found they watched it for some time and thought it had encapsulated and sealed itself off. She had a car accident in December that required a cat scan and learned that "the spot" had grown, considerably.

My mom has CANCER...

I learned that today just after I spent 2 hours dealing with my muscular issues. In other words I was in the car on my way home. I pulled over and parked. When I finished the conversation and found myself in front of Tiger Lilly Jewelers, my college friend/roommate's shop. I hadn't talked to her in a long while. We had lunch. I was so glad she was there.

I called Kenny. I called Pete and despite not wanting to leave such news on a voice mail, I did. I couldn't help it. It slipped out. It didn't really hit me until after that when I called my kids. I think I just needed the practice saying the words before calling my kids. I cried. POOR MIKEY, I cried so hard he couldn't understand me and then Justin thought I said Anna not Nana... and nearly went into shock. By the time Anna got back to me she already knew and Chris well, he knew too... I love my kids, they are so intuitive and they take care of each other...I finally caught up with Pete and thanked him for letting me be comfortable enough with our friendship to leave him such a message.

What I really wanted to do was to go back up on "The Ridge" and scream the news to the birds. I have always felt that like there was this hole in the clouds there that opened up to heaven. Maybe its because that was what I was looking at when I learned my dad passed away. The sun was setting, purple, orange, blue... it seemed to linger for a long time that day just like the processing of the news. Its also where Kenny and I went on our first date and where we buried our first dog when I was pregnant with Justin. The GUNKS are my prayer circle, where the 5 flags meet my soul.

So I'm trying to wrap my head around my mother's illness and know I most likely will be for some time. All day I have been trying to decide what my feelings are. Why do I have to place a name on them? Is it because it makes it easier to own/embrace that way? All I can say is that the headache that I had yesterday that was being generated back pain has now been replaced by my own hard thoughts...Mom, if you are reading this...I love you! (All our life you had us practice taking things one day at a time...)

Again?

2011-02-01T18:18:00.000-08:00

I am beginning to feel sleep deprived with the phone often ringing at 5AM to alert me that someone has no school, or even worse in terms of sleep, I am being woken up to be told I can sleep for another hour. If you haven't figured out already, I am a light sleeper and once I am up, I am up. Despite being so in love with my skates and xc skis and not being able to remember the last time I have been able to indulge in either on a regular basis I am so over this weather! What's worse is that this upcoming weekend is the most important in Chris's skating season making this storm really stressful!

Originally I was going to write about my hectic weekend of heading to Lake Placid Friday night so Chris could skate a time trial coming home in a blinding snow Saturday night (ADK whiteout squalls) and then heading to Hartford for the January Thaw Short Track meet to chase blocks for hours and then hi-tailing it over to the U of H for the Scholastic Art Awards then heading back to the meet to spend another 2 hours on the ice...I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I was literally plastered to the mattress. Everything hurt after 9 hours on the ice.

I wrestled through the day yesterday and decided not to ski after work giving my body one day to rest. Today, when that phone rang I thought I would be stuck at home all day, which sucked because we had nothing interesting in this house to cook for a long period of time. We didn't even have yeast for bread. I was afraid my day would be uneventful... but then I got so bored that I decided to go out and ski, the plow hadn't come by in hours. I could feasibly ski the roads in the neighborhood. Just as I was getting ready to go out, the plow came by. I went anyway, and understood that skiing the snow bank was a total pain. I got in the car and drove to the middle school (1.5 miles away) and skied in and around the campus and then into the woods. It was great, tiring cutting trails in really deep snow, but great. As the weather worsened about 45 minutes into my adventure I skied back and aborted my adventure. I stopped at CVS for some stuff and proceeded to watch some guy totally berate a sales clerk and then attempt to steal an ice scrapper because he had a phone call and she was taking to long to deal with his emergency...

I came home, cleaned up, made some lunch and tea, then sat down to work on writing my new column for the Knickerbocker Ledger. I spent the better part of the day pulling the work together, e-mailing out some interview questions and then it hit me, despite my ski and the reprieve to get some other stuff done, I was BORED... so I decided to head out to the grocery store before dark. The precipitation had stopped. We were out of any interesting ingredients.

A bottle of wine, greens, olives, garlic, tomato, rice, lemon, smelts; dinner. It was incredible! Now I am just waiting for tomorrow's verdict? 5AM will come too soon.

I have been thinking about this all week

2011-01-27T17:19:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I leave once again for Lake Placid. This is the time of year where it becomes a weekly thing, and quite honestly as much as I love that town, getting there is starting to get to me. Next weekend we are off to Milwaukee for the biggest meet of the season so far. At least the it will be some new scenery without the 5 hour drive.

I have watched Chris train all season, and have not been as big a part of it as I would have liked, but non the less I have been processing. I watched Chris try so hard to pull some technical stuff together as well as pull off an incredible 10 day peak training stint, that left him puking and tired. I know how bad he felt, and I know how hard he was working despite. He was so frustrated, so exhausted, and so incredibly ready to give up. When he did this Vo2 workout last weekend and collapsed after the first 3 minute effort, pushed through the the second on the verge of tears, and was pissed off on the third, I knew just how ready he was to taper.

The taper, is hard after all the prior go, go, go... all week I have been watching him have a hard time doing short intense workouts because he wants to push beyond what is necessary, but it is so necessary for him to pull back on volume. I hope that next week he understands that the little bit he does is not going to let him fall behind but it will be the much needed rest to rejuvenate.

Chris, I am so, so, so proud of you! (one DAY, one NIGHT)

There is a point to this I swear...

2011-01-23T04:26:00.000-08:00

Form this weekend...

A few days ago my friend told me how my writing was completely all over the place and in the end he wasn't sure what the point was. I chuckle at that remark as it makes me think of my daughter who can talk up a storm, then I think of my where she got it from and know that I am about as scattered there too. So, I guess I am putting my thought process on the table more than anything in this blog.

I spent the day yesterday thinking about all these poignant things to write about. I had finally found and settled on something really ICONIC. Do you know what happened? By the time I got to a place I could sit down and write about it I forgot what it was that I wanted to express. I am not sure if it had to do with me cross country skiing quite a bit this week, or if it was the snow days? I am certain it wasn't anything to do with speedskating, though that seems to be my life lately.

Chris and I left home at 11AM yesterday, we both had a snow day. I was hoping to be on our way by 9, but for more reasons than I can count we couldn't get it together despite the snow stopping by 8AM. We were on our way up the Thruway, just past the 787/Albany exit when traffic came to a dead stop and we sat for a bit. It seems that a certain motorcade was in town and we were victims of the impending road closure. Once we were on our way again we stopped by the Jr Short Track Trials going on in Saratoga to see how CT Speedskating was fairing. Claude was one spot out of contention for the team (5), Kristen was in 8th, Ryan was in 28th and Kyle 30th. The mood was so light, almost festive, which is so not what I expected for a national level competition.

We finally made it to Lake Placid in time for the evening session on the ice. It was cold. I was so sore. I also couldn't seem to get my right foot under me but the important thing was that I skated. I put in a few good laps. After skating, dinner, and a bit of TV we both crashed by 9:30. This morning was lazy enough to feel relaxed. This was probably a good thing as Chris had a rough work session on track and it was bitterly cold, -4.

I spent the morning session video taping his workout and skating in his downtime. I realized that I have seen him skate more from behind the camera lens than anything else this season. I am trying to decide how I feel about this. Actually, I think that its made me want to coach even more. First, I need to take care of my own training though.

I have registered for my first race in 6 years. The thing is that I am not really sure why I ever stopped training and racing. I think it was one part burnt, one part work stress, and one part overwhelmed by life. Now, I am feeling like I am not ready, but know that its just step one. It doesn't matter how I do, it just matters that I DO, that I TRY, that I WORK at it. I can do this.

We stopped by Lyseks this evening after ice and ended up having dinner with the crowd. This was totally unexpected. We were merely stopping by to say hello. I love chatting with Marilyn and Richard. I feel so at home when I am in Lake Placid, sometimes I wish we lived here.There is this thing about the high peaks that is as inviting as the ocean and the people are not in as much of a rush.

skiing alone (in the woods)

2011-01-16T13:43:00.000-08:00

My 46 year old mind thought that there was something a bit stupid nuts about skiing alone in a park on a wooded trail, my heart said it would be a soul searching and incredible endeavor. I was taught that when you were in doubt you should go with the heart, so I did. I have to say that this was a wonderful experience. It was only Lasdon Arboretum but it was still the woods and still beautiful, also free and close to home.

I am planning on heading out again tomorrow, before we loose the snow pack to rain. I am hoping that the rain snow line is far south of here with this next storm as I am really getting into the XC ski scene this year. Maybe Fahnstalk or the Ridge will survive the warm weather and precipitation. In any case there will always be Cascade next weekend AFTER skating.

I came home and made a fantastic lunch: fresh sardines pan fried stuffed with chermoula which was placed on a toasted baguette round. A small glass of red wine to go with it. It was a wonderful ending! Now? Its a few hours later and I am off to skate!

Has it changed?

2011-01-15T06:02:00.000-08:00

Me skating on the lake in 1971

Skaters about the same age skating after Wednesday's 20 inch snowfall. A Hockey Box was plowed in a matter of hours. The fire was lit and people remained on the ice until well after dark. The light you see it from a golf cart which was parked to illuminate the ice. When I was growing up we used to use flashlights or candles stuck into the snowbanks.

I posted a few pictures of my neighborhood in the snow and I was asked by two people I grew up with if it has changed. I have been thinking about this question since Wednesday. In some respects the neighborhood has changed but what I marvel at most is the fact that as much as it has changed it has stayed the same. Sometimes I feel like a sports team 20 years later; same establishment, different players.

As I walked by the lake the other day I started to think about the evolution of skating in my family. My parents bought the house here for two reasons, kids playing at the lake in summer and kids playing at the lake in the winter. The common denominator has been the lake.

The lake in winter when I was young cleared the minute snow fell and skated on until it was almost too late to skate. It was a place where there were 2 types of skaters, figure and speed. Hockey was in a class by itself, it was strictly a game and hockey skates or slippery shoes/boots were required to play. The figure skating crowd was more old school and cautious, the speedskaters were fast and reckless. We were a serious lot, clearing an oval, maintaining it with buckets, practicing daily, forming secret relay teams for the annual competition between the lakes at the town's winter carnival and occasional jaunt to places such as the Newburgh Oval. Skating was real. Skating was fun. Skating was essential to life in this community.

My kids have grown up in the same house. They learned how to skate on the ice at the lake. They loved playing hockey in both skates and boots. Chris, my youngest has made skating his life, training seriously, hoping for a spot on the National Team. There was a time that we would have an oval cleared immediately after a snowfall, and illuminate the track with candles and flashlights, scrape the shale ice off with ice choppers, flood the track, spend hours and hours practicing on FREE ice. Sadly , we don't skate on the lake anymore. Our equipment too high tech and expensive to risk on natural ice. I am determined to find blades that we can trash, either this year or next.

As I walked by the lake a few nights ago, I realized how important it is for Chris to give back to the sport he loves so much. His presence on that ice with those up and coming skaters might inspire them to reach for a goal.

funky feet?

2011-01-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

Its been a weekend! It started with an 8.5 hour, 256 mile drive to Lake Placid. I have seen white out conditions, but never in my life has 8.5 hours of not being able to see been an issue. Thankfully, we made it to Lake Placid unscathed. The weather cleared at the Cascade Lakes, where it usually takes a turn for the worse. We stashed our stuff at Carol's place and headed out for a long awaited beer. After that ride I had contemplated something stiffer, but I felt as under the weather as the road we traveled on.
Saturday was a different story, still feeling ill but excited by the prospect of a new first for Chris I looked forward to the day. It was a fantastic morning, hockey fans screaming USA, USA, USA from the fence, Ottowa boys chanting COBRA, COBRA, COBRA from the hut, Mike teasing me about being cold despite my sniffles... I even skated the afternoon session with Alicia and Jenn, hoping that a workout would make me feel more normal. We had a bunch of fun, though as we were concentrating on technique we had to laugh at ORDA's choice of music, REally? ABBA? I think we were having as much fun with the blast from the past...My childhood friend Janice, who I think was the one who purchased the speedskates I had in HS for the price of a bus ticket when I was 17 so that I could run away from home commented on my remark about skating to ABBA making the whole thing ironic. Janice do you still have those skates? You should come skate with us!!!
After a fantastic meal that included bread from the newly opened Village Bakery in the old IGA shopping center (thanks Kathy for finding the place last week), we headed to Lysek's to hang out with the Ottawa crowd. We spent the evening discussing war stories such as bears, hiking with kids, loosing kids. I never did tell them how I was lost on a trip to Europe 3 times when I was 7 but I did get Kenny and I's bear encounter on the Palenville Path out... YO, YO, YO....(meet up with the suspected bear only to find a guy named JOE petrified that someone in the woods would be calling out his name so aggressively).
This morning I woke up feeling like I had swallowed all that sand I felt like my head was buried in on Friday. I felt crappy. I tried to put it out of my mind as the exhibition reception was today. We closed up the condo, headed to the oval to watch Chris skate, then headed to the Jonesville Store. I was so happy to see Alison there. We even managed to make some minor adjustments to my exhibition, which made my day!
So we are home now and I am so beat! I will update you on our TEAM Beads of Courage activities in the next day or two...

wordless

2011-01-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

Weekly Winners

2011-01-02T11:18:00.000-08:00

A Romantic Adventure?

2011-01-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

Kenny and I have the opportunity to travel in April to La-Plangne for a week. I am seriously contemplating giving up the trip to Tampa for NCECA to go. There is this sense of romantic adventure. Packing only what we can fit in a back-pack, flying to Geneva, making our way by train to the French alps to meet up with my friend Camille in La-Plangne for a few days stay. We will have no agenda other than spending as little as possible and having almost no baggage.
Planning travel like this is so exciting. As of right now the trip will take us through Albertville, I am wondering if we can arrange a short lay-over there so we can check out the town? We will also spend two days in Geneva, any suggestions on where to stay? Any friends with friends out there that can put us up for 2 nights? The more I write about this the more I want to do this. I am so close to taking that leap of faith...

The Ridge

2011-01-01T18:36:00.000-08:00

I have said it before and I will say it again and again I am so enchanted by that ridge! I was told yesterday that whatever you are doing on New Years you will be doing for the year. In this case, I spent the evening with m favorite people and then I spent the day skiing the ridge with my one of my favorite friends and coach. I am wondering if that means I will be spending my year with my favorite people and in my favorite places? This makes me really excited.

The snow was almost gone as you can see. In places it was as if we were water skiing. I found it intriguing that as tired and sore as I was from a week on the oval (2x a day) I really wanted to be out there moving. I woke up thinking I would ride. I was so happy to get the offer to ski. Jon has coached me on the bike for a few years now, although last year I kind of blew him and my BIKE off using the excuse that I needed to be in the studio. Maybe this year will afford me more time trials, long rides and impeccable fitness. Jon if you read this my goal is a double century by the end of the summer. I would also like to conquer that stupid Mtn Rest Tt in less than 35 min and without having to hurl because I hate loosing my cookies, I am so claustrophobic. Steve if you are reading this I am not riding with you until I can get you to slow down and enjoy the beautiful glaze palette we are riding by. (John D. it just might work, or at the very least we will have something more to contemplate at the kiln). Kelly and Alison, what else am I going to be training for?

On another note, I was thinking about my upcoming week. I am back to school and its the end of the semester. This means lots of firing and stress this week. I am hoping that this means I am not caught up in it. We will be off to Lake Placid again next weekend. I so wish Pete could come with us. I really think he would like to see that side of my current life but then again I think he would be as bored as Kenny often is. I found myself daydreaming about what they might do while we skated, after all, one can only watch speedskating practice so much. But then again? Here's more from the adventures of Pete. If the days are at all like the last 3 on the oval and the snow, we would be right back where we were all those years ago, catching those rays.

The Beach

Everything about life from the first really warm days in April until the last of those days in October was about the sun and the sand. Fortunately, we lived within an hour of several. Sometimes we would even create our own long weekends, finding an excuse to cut out of school and head to Sherwood Island State Park, stopping at a nearby grocery for the essentials, lunch, beverages, ice and baby oil or if we had the funds, a fresh supply of Ban de Soleil for that tan only achievable in the South of France. What I find ironic is that there was a park with a chivalrous name for us to rob ourselves of rote knowledge and skin cells. Our education in social skills grew by leaps and bounds. The beach was the place to be, period.

My grandparents lived close to Jones Beach and there was a bike path to get there, so essentially, from the time I was about 12, Pete and I used to bring our bikes to Bellmore and ride the 10 miles to field 6. We would carry our lunch, water, a small radio, a towel, sun tan oil, and a few dollars for french-fries dawn our sun-glasses and head out for the day. We would find a spot as close to the water as we possibly cold get without getting wet. This way we could run in and cool off at will without breaking up the conversation too much. We would people watch, this was a necessary part of our day. There was always the old guy wearing a Speedo that was six sizes too small and the wrinkly woman with a cigarette hanging out of her lips and her chest among other things hanging out of her suit. We would try to coax the seagulls by throwing French fries to them and laugh hysterically when they would poop on someone. Sometimes we would head to the pool for a bit, it was a way to get wet without getting the sand in places where it would make the ride home uncomfortable. This was always an interesting endeavor as well. We wondered why the pool at the East Bathhouse was always so cold and the one at the West bathhouse was always so warm? We would spend a good hour or so swimming in the lap lane, racing back and forth across the long course. Eventually we would call it a day and head for home, often not arriving until the last bit of light was hitting Merrick Road and the street-lights would light the rest of the way. Once there, we would compare our degrees of lobster, take showers with Yardley’s oatmeal soap and then proceed to indulge in the cool, yet highly mentholated, contents of a whole jar of Noxema, eat the dinner my grandmother slaved over and then walk to the ice cream stand on Sunrise Highway to get black raspberry soft-serve and sneak the cigarettes we would swipe from either my grandmother, my uncle or my mother. We would also be sure to grab a pack of the Trident Spearmint from the cabinet to cover up our smoky breath.

Life around my grand parents house was always an adventure in itself. They lived in this 200 year old colonial on Washington Ave. The house had a lot of secret rooms, this giant copper beech in front, a chicken coop and detached garage in the back, a tire swing, a tree fort, and plenty of population surrounding them to make life interesting. It was a quite acre in an urban setting.

We would often climb that copper beach to the point of being higher than the roof of the house. We were so high into the canopy that we would often go unnoticed by the pedestrians that would pass by. Of course we took great advantage of that situation, making strange noises and watching them look around trying to locate the source. Sometimes they would laugh with us but often we would be messing with this one up-tight lady who had the little ankle-biter dog. She was insistent on the fact that she knew my grandparents well enough to know that they did not have grandchildren even though there were 5 of us. This woman would often yell at us to get out of that tree and off that property or she would call the police on us. We were, after-all, trespassing in her mind.

Inevitably, she would walk up the path and knock on the door with such vigor that my grandmother would think we had fallen out of the tree or there was some other grave emergency. My grandmother would assure her that we did in fact belong to her and summon us to terra-firma to introduce us to her, hoping that maybe this time she would get a good look at us and never scare the bejesus out of her again. We would be begged to make better use of our voices than animal sounds, handed a few dollars and encouraged to go to the country store for candy. Of course we would go get our Old Fashioned Lozenges and candy necklaces before heading right back up that incredible tree.

Eventually all this time spent with Pete at the beach would turn into a major crush. I went to great lengths to be noticed. I remember this one rust colored string bikini I purchased. It was skimpy enough to come in a small bag. It barely held anything in and the front was held to the back by ties that often came undone. I was a devastated 14 year old when Pete’s reaction was not what I expected but like a true gentlemen he was so afraid it would somehow fail and I would be embarrassed on a beach that had no public facility and be a ferry ride away from the safety of the car. He marveled at the fact that my mom had nothing to say about the apparel, matter of fact she even purchased it for me in one of her make her daughter happy moments. Poor Pete, I held onto that suit for way longer than I should have and he had to endure the stress for two years. The strings finally met their demise in a game of Frisbee at Sherwood Island as I ran past a picnic table to catch the disc and caught the string on a nail. With a quick rip it fell loose. Thankfully the beach was nearly empty, a towel, my change of clothing and the bathhouse were right there, not that my really short jean shorts with all the holes in it were any better.

Now that I have spent a week working on a resolution, breaking it into small chunks, enjoying the ice, and the sun, and the town, and skiing the ridge ...eating soba and grapes at midnight and talking to Anna who is on the farm (bring me home some hickory syrup!) ...HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

There is this thing about water, especially when its frozen!

2010-12-30T12:21:00.000-08:00

I have been here in Lake Placid for our annual holiday week trip knowing that this will most likely be the last time I am sharing this week with my son Chris. Its been an interesting week. He is skating so well and working so hard. I almost wish he was racing in SLC this week instead. There is always next year.

There is something so magical about frozen water. There was a post the other day on J.C.'s blog that had me wishing I was in Seoul, curious about speedskating in Korea, and feeling like I can relate as the afternoon speedskating session is split with public skating this week, despite being told otherwise from ORDA.

JC posted this great picture which had me wondering if this was a promotion for the 2018 winter games?

It does look quite like what I would expect in an Olympic Village for spectators to indulge in? I wonder if this track design would solve our training/public session dilemma? In anycase this morning was a beautiful morning to skate, despite being so sore. There was this magical feeling akin to a kid going to the lake for that first swim of the summer or that late winter tanning at "The Beach". For those wondering why I linked to A-basin its because that is what they call their parking lot, which seems to be so close to the sun you could reach out and grab it. I love skiing there, especially during pond skimming.

Off to find that magic again maybe I'll spot the perfect icicle on my way to the oval. (BTW, nice shot of Chris Christie!)

Adventures with Pete: part ?

2010-12-28T11:58:00.000-08:00

An excerpt:

Pete

When I was growing up my dad had these wild stories about his childhood adventures. He was quite the storyteller. There was this guy Pete that was a central figure in his tales. He grew up in this tiny coal town in northeastern Pennsylvania and Pete was his best friend. All in all though, my dad’s stories would not have been anything without Pete and quite frankly Pete took this place of grandeur in the history of my family, though I never met the guy.

My dad is long gone, as are most of his siblings. I cannot recall his stories about Pete so I am not going to bother trying. Instead I will share with you my own adventures with Pete. The Pete of my childhood gave me great courage and confidence. He was a gentleman and a true supporter of my cause. Pete was one of those few true friends that I could count on one hand.

It all started on a playground while our mothers played softball down the street from his house on a warm evening in late-spring. I had broken my hand a few days before while riding my bike. The break was a compound fracture so my hand was both stitched up and extra tender under that cast. I was climbing on a jungle gym and there were these boys that were going to great lengths to tease me. Still flat-chested at the time, I was asked to prove I was a girl. As I climbed with a cast I was told I was faking my injury as no kid in their right mind would climb in that condition. Pete witnessed this and came to my immediate rescue. That was all she wrote. We were friends instantly. This remains true to this very day.

I have decided to share my adventures with Pete. With the grandest of eloquence and in the spirit of my upbringing the stories told will be just as wild, mostly true, occasionally embellished, and at times stolen from my other life stories because Pete would have made that tale epically better. They are recollections of my life and times on this planet. I have always loved to tell stories. Pete has filled the shoes of that monumental and somewhat metaphorical figure that has taken a place in my literary history. He has encouraged me to tell my stories. He has promised to be the one person I could count on to read this book, family aside.

So , just what happened that day on the playground that solidified my allegiance to this guy named Pete? I was the quintessential tom-boy, always hanging out with the boys climbing trees, skate-boarding down steep hills not to mention in traffic, playing football, building forts, playing with matches, creating impromptu bon fires, starting mud fights and arguing about taking a shower afterwards. I had a few good role models. My mom was a Phys-Ed teacher, my dad a science teacher and HS football coach. There was also a shortage of girls my age in the neighborhood that liked to get dirty. Huckleberry Finn was my hero and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (Twain 1876) was my bible. I much would have been a boy-scout than a stupid old girl scout any day. It stated when I realized after climbing up the geodesic dome of a monkey bar contraption with a cast on that getting to the top was easy, getting down on the other hand was not so easy, actually, it was downright frightful. There were at least four overly assured boys and two really mean girls giving me hell that night for being stuck on the damn monkey bars. I felt like that pigeon being pelted by stones in that public service film we used to have to endure every so often in school. You bully something defenseless long enough it will die was the moral of the short feature. In any case, there were all these kids destroying me and then there was Pete, a defendant in a protective shiny covering, le chevalier dans briller d'armure, my own personal Don Quixote (Cervantes 1605) defending me from the windmill that was the playground. First he helped me down. I honestly think my predicament scared him a bit. Then he stood up to two of the boys giving me grief. Defending my honor as a girl. He treated the situation in a way akin to a brother sticking up for a sister. Whatever he said, however short and sweet was impressive enough to build a fortress without worry of future retaliation.

A few weeks later I invited him to the small lake by our house to swim. After hours of diving off the dock, splashing each other with cannonballs, rating jackknives, playing tag, racing each other to the raft, engaging in the ritual game of Marco Polo, and having near death experience chicken fights, we finally collapsed on our towels in the sand to start what would be a decade long, potentially cancer causing, wrinkle fest of a competition called who can achieve the darker tan.

I have managed a bunch of pages in my long awaited writing endeavor. I am surprised at how easily it comes. I have been jotting notes, ideas, memories down on a mind map for over 3 months now. I am psyched that this is actually working well as a tool whenever I have the chance to spare a few minutes to write down a story into the template I have started. I was thinking about my book last weekend as I made my way home from Lake Placid, angrier than a bull pursuing a rodeo clown. Just as I was on the verge of tears from my emotional state a text comes in and its Pete. It was just a simple smiley-face. He had no clue what had transpired on the oval hours earlier. Matter of fact, I hadn't talked to him in at least 2 weeks. I am always amazed at his knack for knowing just where my head is at most of the time. Its almost un-canny. So you see, when I write that he may not have been in every story but he makes almost every story better, I do not lie. But that is not what I intended to write about now...

On Christmas night, Kenny and I hauled up to Pete's after a pleasantly long day at his brother's house. I really enjoyed Christmas this year. We arrived just as things were starting to quiet down but the important thing was that we arrived. Pete gave me the most amazing gift. It was a photo montage of our adventures in Maine, both in poster and calendar form. I was so touched. Yesterday, when I read his short storm adventures on Facebook I wished I was there at the studio, enjoying the hot tub rather than freezing my behind off in Lake Placid! Actually, I really wish he was here on a Lake Placid adventure with me, despite the freezing temps and his lack of skating capabilities. Somehow I think he would find it fascinating.

The time here in Lake Placid this week has been interesting. Its been really cold, and windy up until today, when the sun was so bright I couldn't see what I was filming this morning on the oval. I am surprised that I filmed anything. Its one of those weeks where I get so much reading done that you would think I was an avid reader all of the time. I have even managed the NY Times cover to cover before 10 AM each day. Its both hectic and relaxing. Chris is skating well, which is what is important, after all its why we are here. He managed a good training session with Pat Kelly this morning and will be back for crazy eights tonight (his choice). Crazy eights is surprisingly one of Chris's favorite tough workouts that I wrote for him and Andrew two years ago.

It consists of the following:
8 lap warm up
2 x 8 laps easy, 8 laps moderate, 8 laps easy, 8 laps hard
8 lap cool down

I have spent the afternoon editing video from this morning and will have it posted soon. Well off to secure some lock-tight and a few other essentials from the hardware store before hitting the ice again. More later!

Analyze this?

2010-12-27T12:23:00.000-08:00

Last night I had one of those weird potter dreams again. This time I was haunted by two people I really look up to. We spent hours critiquing my work, which was not all that harsh, most of it dealt with my choice of surfaces. I wonder if this was due to the fact that I was somewhat dismayed at the fact that my whistle forms are being neglected in my current exhibition, matter of fact they are not beimg shown at all, which was not my choice. The worst was that I could not seem to find my voice to speak up about it either. I know its my work, but? I am guessing this was just a dream of torment? I must be trying to tell myself to speak up and self- advocate...I really need to say something before the reception. Why am I so chicken to do so?

I made it to Lake Placid yesterday without much consequence. I am so glad that I left as early as I did however. I see that Kelly got quite a bit of snow too. Funny, it hadn't even started there by 1 PM. Its really cold here despite not having the blast of snow that they had at home. My only regret it that I missed Mike, Vim, Jay and Julia sledding at the lake with a guest appearance by Steve. I hear they were having a blast. I cannot imagine what it must be like for Jay and Julia who have never really seen snow. Malaysia is in the 80's almost every day of the year.

OK, time to go and skate! More later!

Sick Day

2010-12-21T17:58:00.000-08:00

I stayed home today, and while I finally did manage a shower around 3 PM, I think my butt has worn a divot in the couch. I didn't feel up to much. So I just had one of those PJ days hoping that by days end I would feel better. HMMM its evening and I am still feeling a bit yuckie. I feel like I did when I had an advanced case of lyme, which I was told is how I would feel. Tomorrow is a very long day for me too... positive thinking ...
I did manage to entertain myself and explore the Splendid Table today. I tried the guinness gingerbread recipe (SUPER EASY) so that it could be used as stuffing for the chicken I roasted for dinner (also super easy). I was amazed at how interesting this was.

Try this:
1/2 of a pan of the gingerbread - Oh when you make it, if you don't have Golden syrup because we live in the US and not the UK, substitute honey (healthy) or Imitation maple syrup (unhealthy but closer to what golden syrup is)
2 onions chopped
3 cloves of garlic - chopped (more if you feel crappy like me)
1 cup of chopped carrots
2 stalks of celery
provincial herb mixture (rosemary, sage, thyme, savory and a bit of lavender)

Saute the veggies until transparent and crumble the gingerbread then mix together

STUFF YOUR CHICKEN, TURKEY or PORK! (OK I am bored) and sprinkle outside with orange zest and provincial herbs then roast at 350 until done

Then un-stuff and serve. Share it with other people (if you can).

I am amazed at how incredibly boring staying home is. How do people do this? I am so stir crazy! Maybe if I actually moved off the couch and stopped watching stupid cat videos? Come hell or high water, I am back to work tomorrow!

Setting an example for those who are younger

2010-12-19T18:02:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning not minding the fact that I VOLUNTEERED to stand on the ice for 2 plus hours in below zero temps to make sure a race was skated fairly. I am NOT technically an official, but as a USS level 3 coach I knew that the task I was being asked to do by the MARATHON ORGANIZERS, BECAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE ELSE, would be done to the best of my abilities. It was merely my intent to follow the mass start protocol as best I could. I did not take being asked to officiate a race lightly. Just as I want my skaters to be treated fairly it is my intent to act objectively and without bias.

Today was by far the worst I have ever seen in terms of unsportsman-like conduct AND without a doubt my LAST time volunteering to do anything other than coach. The lead athletes who decided that the possibility of skating an extra lap was far too much to bare and decided instead that hurling obscenities at me while I tried to remedy the timing and PA situation was acceptable should be ashamed of yourselves. The athletes who took it upon themselves to tell me where to go in some For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge terms and decided to interfere with me discussing rude behavior with pertinent individuals should remember its JUST A RACE, a FRIENDLY COMPETITION, and with nothing of real life sustaining IMPORTANCE in the outcome except knowing the fact that you accomplished an amazing distance in a short amount of time.

Not to mention your behavior was noticed by others who were not participating in the event, some of which were asked to sign a USS Code of Conduct and Athlete Agreements in order to participate in their perspective seasons. Those contracts they signed were set by some of you, or at the very least adults that you assigned the proxy to do so.
With that said, I do hope that the next time you set foot on the ice you understand that the people on the production end are VOLUNTEERING THEIR TIME because they are PASSIONATE about ADVANCING and PROMOTING the SPORT and you can see it in your competitive mindset to PLAY NICE!

Lysek's in the morning

2010-12-19T03:55:00.000-08:00

I always seem to be the first one up the morning, even here. I am surprised at how good I feel despite my bottomless glass of red wine and fitfull/frightfull dreams last night. Its morning here in Lake Placid and absolutely delightful! This morning I am again at the marathon, standing on the ice, hoping that the whole lot skates fast enough for me not to be the latest LP Ice Sculpture.
More later!

Courage in the High Peaks!

2010-12-18T19:22:00.000-08:00

December 18, 2010
Lysek's Hillcrest Inn
Lake Placid, NY

I feel like I am home even though I do not own a place here, believe me, I wish I did. Chris an I are up here for the first of many weekend endeavors skating long track. So far its been a good trip. I could do without the 4.5 hour eommute on a Friday afternoon after teaching all day though. Chris skated 25K this morning while I helped with the race. I had planned on skating, and I know excuses cannot fly, but I bagged the thoughts for a few reasons: 1. I have almost no fitness left right now 2. I decided I did not want to be in that much pain. So, the plan is to skate in February in Lake Morey. I like natural ice. Its what I grew up on.

Today was a wonderful day. The 7 or so Jr Hopefuls that call the Lake Placid Oval their home ice skated with tons of wishes of COURAGE today. Each one choosing one of my handmade beads before the race, taking a picture on the ice with the bead in hand after the race, and writing an inspirational note to be included with the bead when it is mailed to Beads of Courage next week. I will have pictures soon. What they wrote inspired me so much. I was so glad that I chose to do this.

After the race I headed to Mr. Mikes to meet Peter and Fred for lunch before heading back to Lysek's read for a bit. I am amazed at how much reading I manage to get done here. Liz, you will have your book soon. It was soon time to get to afternoon ice but after spending 3 hours trying to fix Chris's new blades to his new boots, I finally decided that I might need to pay to have this done. These were bolt and insole issues that challenged even John Dimon. Finally, both of us working together got things done. I had exactly 1 hour left to skate, which half of was taken up by my own blade issues. I finally get things set and it 5:55 the session ends at 6.

There is always tomorrow and next week!

Tonight I had planned on meeting Fred and Mickey for a drink, actually really looked forward to it. I ended up getting sidelined by a mean lasagna dinner and lots of wine. (French Canadian's drink more wine then the French I think- how are they racing tomorrow?) I am smiling now that is until I have a headache tomorrow! (Sunglasses most likely will be a necessity!)

Teenage Angst

2010-12-14T17:44:00.000-08:00

On my way home today, I was looking forward to putting my feet up and doing some reading. Instead I came home to a moment that made me have to be that parent, use my better maternal judgement, and hope that I made the right decisions. I know that my on- the- fly, under pressure thought process was done in his best interest but as I debriefed my child, and reminded him of the lapse in development of his pre-frontal lobe, I also had the privilege of hearing about how much he is hurting. Disappointment and anger has slowly dissolved into empathy. I watch teenagers make mistakes every day. I also watch those same teenagers go through emotional hell at times. Heck there are some HS memories that I still have angst about. I just never thought my kid, who seems so focused and put together, could be feeling so down. He is a victim of the loss of his first love. The thing is that it was months ago.
I remember breaking up with my first love, and to this day there are still certain things that are still painful despite being head over heals in love with my husband. The one thing I can honestly say I was grateful for was that after we broke up I didn't have to see the guy every day as he was a two years ahead of me and was already out of school. My kid doesn't have that privilege. He sees her every day. The head games are poignant and still incredibly fresh.
As we sat there and talked I learned so much about a kid I thought I knew so much about already. I learned that there is an "I am coping" personality where he tells me about the world and then there is the "screaming for help" personality that only asks for help when he is falling so fast but the bottom looks as if its never going to appear and the fear kicks in. So as I think tonight about the consequences for his actions and the level- headed resolve that I acted with initially, part of me feels just as heart-wrenched as I did in 1981 when the final dissolution of my first love relationship sent me over the edge and running to New Bedford. I am not in any way excusing his lack of judgement, just trying to understand where he is coming from so that from this day forward I can help him to make better choices.
I do know he knows I love him!